So Why aren't you ..... yet?

Married, seeing someone, have a kid, having #2, retiring... whatever.

Why is it that people feel the need to ask why you are/are not taking "the next big step" in your life? At work I am starting to get "SO.... when are you having #2?" This makes me so frustrated. First of all: none of your business. second of all: it's the office. And yes, while it is the public service so you can't discriminate, I sure don't want to take the chance that I will be passed on an opportunity because people think I'm going to get knocked up. And finally, and perhaps most importantly, major life steps often have complicating factors that you don't need to know about.

Who knows? Maybe a couple aren't engaged because they are going through some major upheaval. Or maybe they don't want to be married.

Maybe someone isn't seeing someone because they are busy dealing with a sick loved one. Or maybe they don't want to see anyone at the moment.

Maybe someone isn't retiring because they can't afford it. Or maybe they don't want to retire.

The kids thing really bothers me though. All the time we get on the backs of "rotten parents." Yet when we see a childless couple we wonder why they aren't knocked up yet, and often people ask. Loudly. And in public places. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have kids. I mean I love Erica. I think kids keep you young. But you don't need your own to kids to enjoy kids. You can always be the "cool" Auntie or Uncle and when they start being a pain, oh geez...look it's time to go! Or avoid them. No one said that you havee to love kids to be a good person.

See pregnancy is a toughie. Even if a couple wants to have a kid: it actually isn't as easy as our high school health teachers told us it would be. And if you get pregnant, nothing says that you will stay pregnant.  "When are you having a kid?" "Oh I don't know, after the second miscarriage we are kinda keeping our fingers crossed with this one." But what do you SAY too people who keep asking?

Luckily, I;ve complied a list of answers to those fuckwads to keep asking these sorts of questions.

Q: "Why aren't you seeing anyone at the moment?"  A: "I've done the cost/benefit analysis and I'm going to stick with prostitutes, thank you."

Q: "When are you going to have kids?"  A" "Oh I don't know, we're busy practising."

Q: "So when are you going to get married."  A: "When he stops cheating on me."

Q: "So when are you going to retire." A: "When I start becoming useless at my work.  I see that was when you decided to retire." (Obviously, this one works if the person asking is retired.)

Q: "When are you going to ......."  A: "Why do you want to know?" This one will shut them up: the only answer is "I'm a nosy asshole."  Now if hte person actually says "Because I'm a nosey asshole." Answer them honestly: they were honest with you: it's only fair.

So my fellow 2o2pers... When have you got the "question" and how did you answer. I got the "when are you having kids" and I answered with the  "No thanks, just practising." If you have the right relationship everyone gets a laugh and you come out looking like a hero.