Toddlers... aka Mommy needs a drink.

Toddlerhood is a rollercoaster ride of emotion. From elation to defeat: the whole gambit of emotions are felt all at the same time. And that's just me... Ba-DA-BUMP!

Honestly though, for those without toddlers in their life: toddlers are an odd bunch to say the least. They are actually like little teenagers. They want to do things independently, but they don't necessarily have the skills. They want to be apart from you (the parent) but love you with a passion. And they also say that they hate you, eat all your food and basically don't appreciate the day to day that you do for them. oh I'm a fricking comedian today, people.

But toddlers are an awful lot of fun too. When they are a joy, they amaze you. When they master a new skill, you stand back amazed. When they look at you and say they love you, or give you a hug: you melt. Like teens, toddlers are developing mentally, and making great leaps and bounds. Where teens are finding their role in society, toddlers are just finding out that they are a person. Both stages, in a way has to deal with a shocking shift in perspective; both the toddler and the teen are noticing that there is a world that is much bigger than they expected, and they are much smaller than they thought. It's pretty big step and it's a scary one.

So: I can empathize with my little girl. I love her to death. But ... the "I-Hate-Mommy" tantrums have got to stop. Okay okay okay. They aren't that bad, but based on my VERY small sample size: I am in for a rough road in the next 6 months (at the least). Why? I have a child the same sex as me, and she is a girl.

Huh?

Allow me to explain. From what I have heard, children bond with th parent of opposite sex. Hence: Daddy's little girl and Mommy's little boy. Erica by far prefers my husband. I mean it's great that they are such good friends; because it makes his job esier (note: every Dad's job is to keep his daughter off the pole...). She is going to have a healthy self esteem: she and her Dad are tight. Great. I'm happy. I just wish that when I enter a room when the two of them are playing I would get something other than "NO! Mommy Cannot Come In!! You Do Not Want Mommy!" Sigh. Tears. (from Mom)

The second thing... again small sample size... girls are supposedly more independent than little boys. Erica HAS to do everything herself. If you see something she needs and hand it to her: mini freak out. You undo the velcro on a shoe: mini freak out. You name it: if she thinks she can do it and you do it for her: mini freak out. Now here's the hard part... she will also freak out if she *thinks* that you have done something for her, even if you haven't. And there is nothing you can do at that point, you can't undo someone's perception. Guess what? Mini-freak out.

I have a few coping strategies with her. If I have done something "wrong", I will say "Should Mommy take back the....?" I make vacuming noises and sorta wave my fingers around whatever the "thing" is. For the most part that seems to placate her. She is extremely verbal, so we are often able to find out what her problem is, and we aways try to get her to articlate her problem... even if it's saying "Yes" to "Are you angry becasue Mommy brought you inside?" We are starting to do time outs. Tantrums we have a safe place for her to freak out.

All in all, the old JayCat is in for a rough, and rewarding road. But ain't she cute?

Does anyone else have their toddler stories? What has your experience been with boys v girls and same sex parents? How do you deal with a toddler that "hates" you?