Dad Spam: 7 Reasons Not to Make Kids Angry

A little girl was talking to
her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically
impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a
very large mammal its throat was very
small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was
swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that
a whale could not swallow a human; it
was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to
heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah
went to hell?'

The little girl replied, 'Then you ask
him'.

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A Kindergarten teacher was observing her
classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally
walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what
the drawing was.

The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.'

The teacher paused and said, 'But no
one knows what God looks like.'

Without missing a beat, or looking up
from her drawing, the girl replied,
'They will in a minute.'

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing
the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how
to treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

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One day a little girl was sitting and watching
her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in
contrast on her brunette head.

She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of
your hairs white, Mum?'

Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong
and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then
said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

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The children had all been photographed, and
the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the
group picture.

'Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown
up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael,
He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the
teacher, she's dead.'

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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation
of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class,
if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I
would turn red in the face.'

'Yes,' the class said.

'Then why is it that while I am standing
upright in the ordinary position the
blood doesn't run into my feet?'

A little fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty.'

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The children were lined up in the cafeteria of
a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a
large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

'Take only ONE . God is watching.'

Moving further along the lunch line,
at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, 'Take all
you want. God is watching the
apples.'