Pulled apart

    Just need to take a moment to vent of some inner-conflict, here.
    The root of my problems, I think is that I work on the weekends. I've been doing so for about a year and a half. I chose to, because it was the only way to get back into the company I like working for, doing the job I know how to do, and I'm good at it. That, and it pays well, I work 3 12 hour shifts and get paid for 40, and the biggest bonus is that we save a ton of money on daycare costs for my two boys, only sending them on Mondays (so I can sleep) and Fridays.
    The problems that come with this scenario are really starting to weigh down on me. First, there's the fact that I'm a stay-at-home dad for Tuesday through Thursday. Not too bad, and I know there are other guys who do it all week. And, don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all of my heart. It just gets to a breaking point by the time Friday rolls around, that I actually look forward to work. My oldest is four years old. For 3 days, I need to make sure he's not plopped in front of the television, make sure he's getting the proper nutrition, learning everything he'll need to know for kindergarten next year, and getting enough physical exercise, and make sure that I spend enough one-on-one time with me, so that he doesn't get jealous of his 4 month old brother, who needs a lot more one-on-one time. Also, the four month old needs to be fed his bottles, his diapers changed, and get his naps when needed. So, I spend all week doing all of that stuff, and the dishes, laundry, yard-work, and house-cleaning, so that when the wife gets home, she's happy, and not naggy.   
    Another problem is my limited social contact with my peers. After spending all day 'conversing' with my oldest son, the only adult conversations I get to have are with my wife when she gets home. Not bad, but still, it's just my wife, and by Thursday, the conversation is pretty much limited to just her work. Our evenings are pretty run-of-the-mill family time. I don't go out, because then my wife will complain that I don't spend enough time with her. Evenings are also an opportunity for me to make up any time I've lost with my oldest son, on days when I just don't feel he's had enough of my undivided attention. The only time I actually hear another adult voice other than my wife is after the rest of the family has gone to bed, and I jump on the 360, sometimes joining up with some people from this site.
    Then I stay up too late. Rarely is it because of the 360, though. Mostly it's because my sleeping schedule is so messed up from sleeping all day Monday. Mondays, I get home at 3:15 a.m., then I stay up until 7, get the boys off to daycare, then come back home and get to sleep by 9 a.m. The wife picks the boys up, comes home, and wakes me up around 5 p.m., then expects me to be able to go to bed with her at 10 p.m. Lately, she's been complaining how alone she feels that I never go to bed at the same time as her. What am I supposed to do? Lay there, wide awake for 6 hours, until I'm tired?
    Now, the newest thing trying to pull my attention is my sister. Well, I guess I should really say, as she put it; my 'biological family'. I was going to write exclusively about this whole situation, but it'd just be too long. I'll give the cliffs notes version and say that I grew up just not needing or getting any positive attention from my parents, the reward of not getting all of the negative attention that I seen my younger sister was getting was enough. Not that she was beaten, or anything, and it wasn't like I had the world's most horrible parents, she was just a troublemaker, and required a lot of attention to try to steer her right. I, on the other hand, kept my nose clean, and pretty much out of the way of trouble, but didn't get half as much attention. Not being whiny about it, it's just the cold hard truth.
    So now, my sister has pretty much cleaned up her act, and doing well for herself. She still talks to mom and dad, even though she no longer needs their services as an ATM. I fell out of contact with my mother about 10 years ago, our meetings relegated to holidays, and major family events. I never just call her to chit-chat. I do, sometimes, with my dad, but don't maintain as much contact with him as my sister does, probably only because she lives closer to him, so he goes there for dinners and such. I think, over the last 10 years, I had just gotten used to not needing my parents for anything. There were a few times where I borrowed some money, but never any major amount, and I always paid back in a quick manner of time. I've never felt the need to call them to celebrate anything in my life, aside from the announcement of my children being born, which wasn't met with as much applause as it should have been, probably because the joy of their first grandchild being born had already been splurged 9 years previous, when my sister became a teen mother. Never once have I heard from my family how proud they were that I had waited until after I had gotten married to have children.
    This past Saturday night, while I was working, my wife and sons went to a birthday dinner for my niece. My sister constantly hounded my wife about me being at work, asking all kinds of questions about how long I was going to do that, etc. Then she tells my wife, somewhat out-of-the-blue, it sounds, "You know, his 'biological family' feels dead to him."
    What the hell? So now, I'm supposed to start 'visiting' and calling my parents and sister all the time, too? Just when am I going to fit this in? And how awkward will it be to see my mom on any kind of regular basis? I really shouldn't let this bother me, because believe me, if I gave you the whole story, you would understand the meaning of one of my favorite phrases; "My sister said". Basically, you take anything that she's said, and when you repeat it, you add that phrase to the beginning and the end, just to remind yourself that the part in between may or may not be true. But, goddam, this just kind of hurt me tonight.
    I feel like I'm getting pulled in every direction. My sons need me, my wife needs me, I never see my friends, and now my sister and parents are feeling left out, too. On top of all that, I need to work on the weekends.
   
    Whew, thanks for letting me get that out.