From Momma's Heart

For Stacy's blog, and from her heart:

What a weekend! We got hit Saturday afternoon by this pretty crazy storm that rolled through. Power was out all over the place and trees were down from the wind and being struck by lightening. When we got home from running a lot of errands, we realized that our power was out as well. We don't really have much time when it comes to that because Megan cannot afford to get hot and we had no power to plug in her feeding machine. Thank goodness, with my parents living so close now, we packed it up and headed to their house. It was a wonderful surprise for Megan and the boys and a nice little get away for Jim and I. So, it's no surprise how hard the last couple of months have been. I think sometimes I get caught up and let everything get to me. It's that whole control issue I have, you know. There are so many things going on right now and emotions that we are going through with Megan but we are really working through them and thankfully we are working through them with the three of us (Jim, myself and God). I know it is going to take a lot, and not everyday will be easy, but we are ready. I always want to be the best wife, mom, daughter, friend, co-worker, sister, and anything else, and many times I feel like I fail at most. Sometimes, I can even lose sight of just how much Jesus really does love me. Thankfully He sends me incredible little reminders, such as: I was putting Megan to bed. She has her prayers nailed down really well and looks forward to Bible story SO much. We get to the part where she can sing her favorite song "Jesus Loves Me". She can sing and do the sign language for it and it is beyond beautiful. The first time she did it, Jim, the boys, Uncle Mikey and I were all in there just staring at her and none of us had a dry eye. Anyways, she gets to the chorus where she sings and signs "Yes, Jesus Loves Me, Yes, Jesus Loves Me!" and I am telling you she is belting it out so happy and proud but she keeps repeating it instead of moving on to the end of the song. I looked at her and smiled. Then I sang and signed "For the Bible tells me so". She quickly said No, No Mommy "Yes, Jesus Loves me, Yes, Jesus Loves me. You say it mommy, "Yes, Jesus Loves me." And kept repeating it over and over again. As I looked at her with tears running down my cheek, I sang it back to her. She looked at me and said "Yeah, mommy! Jesus Loves you!" and pointed at my heart. I have realized many things from this child. I am the one who is terrified for her upcoming surgery. I am so sad to see her go through something else again and in pain. I am heartbroken that Megan has to endure all this. Megan, however, is none of those things. No matter what happens, Megan is happy and loves life. Megan doesn't mind the tubes, she moves on from the pain, she wouldn't mind the port. Megan is happy because she knows Jesus loves her and she is loved by some many people. What a child, but more than that, What a God!

I'm going ttry and find a way to record her singing to video, and maybe put it up here via Youtube. I think you will all be blessed by it.

END OF LINE

JR