Would you do this if you were drunk?

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover after the night of his office
Christmas party. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he
sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits down and sees his clothing
in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees
that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at
him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table, "Breakfast is
on the stove, I left early to go shopping. -- Love you, Jill"

He stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the
morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son,
what happened last night?"

Jack's son answers, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and out of your
mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black
eye when you ran into the door!"

Jack says, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? I have a
red rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me."

His son replies, "Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to
take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!'"

Broken furniture - $85.26

Hot breakfast - $4.20

Red rose bud - $3.00

Two aspirins - $0.38

Saying the right thing at the right time . . .
Priceless