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Divine math

Kwazy

Shared on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 15:12

Strolled by the bulletin board today at my workplace.  Somebody had posted a 3 x 5 index card reading something along the lines of

 

For Sale

14 oak church pews, 10’ long

$1100 for all

or $75 each

 

Hmmmm…I guess you really have to want #14 to pay the extra fifty bucks.

 

I don’t know how one obtains 14 pews to sell, but I’d like to think they’re stolen.  The better question might be what kind of person is in the market for used church pews.  One could look cool in an entry hall I guess, but at 10’ long it would be a substantial piece of furniture.

 

Might be a good idea to pick up a couple.  That way if you ever start your own religion, you’ve got a crutch when the ATF or IRS kicks in your front door.  “Wait!  Wait!  I’ve got pews!  I’m *cough*, stupid tear-gas…I’m legit!”

Comments

selden007's picture
Submitted by selden007 on Tue, 01/23/2007 - 11:11
I actually have a buddy that got his hands on some church pews a few years ago and he cut them down and made some nice chests out of them, the pews made the lids. They came out great and makes for a nice piece of furniture. Even if you got one you could make 2 or 3 lids out of them and turn around and sell them for a huge profit. Tha is if you have any skill at craftsmanship. I would ask if you could buy 7 of them now and 7 of them tomorrow to save that fifty.
selden007's picture
Submitted by selden007 on Tue, 01/23/2007 - 11:11
I actually have a buddy that got his hands on some church pews a few years ago and he cut them down and made some nice chests out of them, the pews made the lids. They came out great and makes for a nice piece of furniture. Even if you got one you could make 2 or 3 lids out of them and turn around and sell them for a huge profit. Tha is if you have any skill at craftsmanship. I would ask if you could buy 7 of them now and 7 of them tomorrow to save that fifty.
Twisted's picture
Submitted by Twisted on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 15:57
You know what would be frickin cool? Having 3-5 rows of pews in your mancave, lined up like a movie theatre in front of your monster HDTV. THAT'D be cool. Comfortable? Not so much.
Twisted's picture
Submitted by Twisted on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 15:57
You know what would be frickin cool? Having 3-5 rows of pews in your mancave, lined up like a movie theatre in front of your monster HDTV. THAT'D be cool. Comfortable? Not so much.
mrsleestak's picture
Submitted by mrsleestak on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 16:04
What a terriffic bargain! You should buy them all and ask that they set them up on your front lawn (for the extra $50 it took to purchase all 14!). Then, while positioned behind a make shift altar, unleash a profanity laden surmon at the empty pews. My guess is that if you do it on a weekly basis someone will actually sit there and begin to listen.
mrsleestak's picture
Submitted by mrsleestak on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 16:04
What a terriffic bargain! You should buy them all and ask that they set them up on your front lawn (for the extra $50 it took to purchase all 14!). Then, while positioned behind a make shift altar, unleash a profanity laden surmon at the empty pews. My guess is that if you do it on a weekly basis someone will actually sit there and begin to listen.
Kwazy's picture
Submitted by Kwazy on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 17:05
I've actually got a surrealistic photo in mind with all the pews set up in an empty Walmart parking lot with Che Guevara at the pulpit and the complete cast of Gone with the Wind sitting assembled.
Kwazy's picture
Submitted by Kwazy on Mon, 01/22/2007 - 17:05
I've actually got a surrealistic photo in mind with all the pews set up in an empty Walmart parking lot with Che Guevara at the pulpit and the complete cast of Gone with the Wind sitting assembled.

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