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Paperless workplace

K
Kwazy

This is an actual email message I received yesterday at work from the a u-nion steward upon resolution of a labor relations issue.  Only the names have been changed to protect the stupid.  The rest is word-for-word gospel.

Brothers,
There is toilet paper in the Second Floor Engineering Rest-room.

How much does it take to get some toilet paper when one stall is completely out and the other has five or six sheets.
.. ~11:00 AM - Asked Skid Marks to get some toilet paper - A short time later Skid said that it is second shifts job.
.. ~12:00 Noon - Asked Buttis Swampy to get some toilet paper
.. 12:16 PM - CC Labor Relations on letter sent to Buttis Swampy.
.. ~1:20 PM - Walked to Labor Relations to get some help - Itchy McTaint was helpful but could not find immediate help.
.. 1:30 PM - Walked out the Tool Crib and ask Plunky Assplash for some help to get some toilet paper. Plunky got the job done within five minutes.
.. ~1:32 PM - The toilet paper had a customer.
Fraternally,
Duckwalk Johnson

Comments (12)

B
buckeye75·
Oh my dear God!
G
GIJoeBob·
How many Teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?\r \r TEN! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH 'DAT?!?!?!
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NotStyro·
U-nion and government shops, two places where you needn't ask for anything...\r \r U-nion excuses - \"Not my yob\", \"I'm on break\", \"Next shift does that\",\"You're not MY boss\",\"Yo, Vinny, we's got ourselves a wiseguy here making demands\"(mob 'influenced')...\r \r Government excuses - \"What?\",\"Que pasa?\",\"Kisa\",\"I would really like to help, but that is not in my function specification\",\"I'm on temporary leave for a biological function\",\"You are not in my direct supervisory or managerial line of organizational flow. Please consult the organization flowchart and submit a request from a higher organization position\",\"Please submit your request on form 27 b stroke 6, in triplicate, signed and approved my all upper organizational members before I can add your request to the work request queue\"...
K
Kwazy·
:D\r \r Styro, is that a Brazil quote? What a great movie.
N
NotStyro·
Kwazy, no. Close, but no.
R
Raider30·
Question: Why the **** didn't the guy wanting toilet paper just walk his own ass up to the 2nd floor bathroom and get a roll instead of contacting 46 other people to do the job for him?
J
jquack·
LOL! I've heard of having to go through red tape to get stuff, but white tape? That's just silly.
K
Kwazy·
Raider: The 2nd floor was the one out of TP. The \"There is toilet paper in the Second Floor Engineering Rest-room\" referred to the fact that the issue was resolved.\r \r The TP comes in jumbo 10\" institutional-sized rolls and is not readily accessible anywhere evidently.\r \r God how I hate working there...
A
AutumnRocks·
When I saw your title I thought it was going to be some really COOL thing that your work had done (like go comletely paper-free to save trees or something), but that was rather nieve of me...\r Of course it turned out to be a bureaucratic nightmare involving the powerlessness of men and simple tasks. \r \r :lol: Love ya!
A
AutumnRocks·
Sorry--due to the nature of my current project I have this whole woman's power trip going on and man hating appeals to me. \r \r :D
K
Kwazy·
I'll have you know the day-shift janitorial supervisor is a woman.\r \r However, she was of little assistance in getting the toilet paper conundrum solved as she failed to make it to work that day.
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AutumnRocks·
Imagine that. A conundrum happens when the woman isn't there to fix it. Shocking. \r \r :lol: