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Paperless workplace

Kwazy

Shared on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 08:58
This is an actual email message I received yesterday at work from the a u-nion steward upon resolution of a labor relations issue.  Only the names have been changed to protect the stupid.  The rest is word-for-word gospel.

Brothers,
There is toilet paper in the Second Floor Engineering Rest-room.

How much does it take to get some toilet paper when one stall is completely out and the other has five or six sheets.
.. ~11:00 AM - Asked Skid Marks to get some toilet paper - A short time later Skid said that it is second shifts job.
.. ~12:00 Noon - Asked Buttis Swampy to get some toilet paper
.. 12:16 PM - CC Labor Relations on letter sent to Buttis Swampy.
.. ~1:20 PM - Walked to Labor Relations to get some help - Itchy McTaint was helpful but could not find immediate help.
.. 1:30 PM - Walked out the Tool Crib and ask Plunky Assplash for some help to get some toilet paper. Plunky got the job done within five minutes.
.. ~1:32 PM - The toilet paper had a customer.
Fraternally,
Duckwalk Johnson

Comments

buckeye75's picture
Submitted by buckeye75 on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 09:05
Oh my dear God!
GIJoeBob's picture
Submitted by GIJoeBob on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 09:39
How many Teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb? TEN! YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH 'DAT?!?!?!
NotStyro's picture
Submitted by NotStyro on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 09:45
U-nion and government shops, two places where you needn't ask for anything... U-nion excuses - "Not my yob", "I'm on break", "Next shift does that","You're not MY boss","Yo, Vinny, we's got ourselves a wiseguy here making demands"(mob 'influenced')... Government excuses - "What?","Que pasa?","Kisa","I would really like to help, but that is not in my function specification","I'm on temporary leave for a biological function","You are not in my direct supervisory or managerial line of organizational flow. Please consult the organization flowchart and submit a request from a higher organization position","Please submit your request on form 27 b stroke 6, in triplicate, signed and approved my all upper organizational members before I can add your request to the work request queue"...
Kwazy's picture
Submitted by Kwazy on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 09:56
:D Styro, is that a Brazil quote? What a great movie.
NotStyro's picture
Submitted by NotStyro on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 10:04
Kwazy, no. Close, but no.
Kwazy's picture
Submitted by Kwazy on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 17:07
I'll have you know the day-shift janitorial supervisor is a woman. However, she was of little assistance in getting the toilet paper conundrum solved as she failed to make it to work that day.
Raider30's picture
Submitted by Raider30 on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 12:44
Question: Why the **** didn't the guy wanting toilet paper just walk his own ass up to the 2nd floor bathroom and get a roll instead of contacting 46 other people to do the job for him?
AutumnRocks's picture
Submitted by AutumnRocks on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 21:49
Imagine that. A conundrum happens when the woman isn't there to fix it. Shocking. :lol:
jquack's picture
Submitted by jquack on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 15:16
LOL! I've heard of having to go through red tape to get stuff, but white tape? That's just silly.
Kwazy's picture
Submitted by Kwazy on Wed, 04/16/2008 - 17:30
Raider: The 2nd floor was the one out of TP. The "There is toilet paper in the Second Floor Engineering Rest-room" referred to the fact that the issue was resolved. The TP comes in jumbo 10" institutional-sized rolls and is not readily accessible anywhere evidently. God how I hate working there...
AutumnRocks's picture
Submitted by AutumnRocks on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 08:26
When I saw your title I thought it was going to be some really COOL thing that your work had done (like go comletely paper-free to save trees or something), but that was rather nieve of me... Of course it turned out to be a bureaucratic nightmare involving the powerlessness of men and simple tasks. :lol: Love ya!
AutumnRocks's picture
Submitted by AutumnRocks on Thu, 04/17/2008 - 08:28
Sorry--due to the nature of my current project I have this whole woman's power trip going on and man hating appeals to me. :D

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