Self-denial

I am in the midst of another dry-out. As of 11:30 PM tonight, it will have been 72 hours since my last drop of alcohol. And I shant have another until after work on Friday, September 21st. This is a little ritual I perform every nine months or so...just to make sure I still can. And when this aeon of austerity is up, oh how sweet that drink will be.

I simply adore addiction. It makes me feel...alive. Not so much the addiction itself, but rather the endorphins released after periods of denial.  That cigarette after being trapped on a jet for five hours. That first cold beer after a crappy day at work. It's not the addiction that's evil, but rather the pejorative opinion that it can't be harnessed.

We've been harnessing since almost day one. Religious asceticism...the shunning of meat, sex, alcohol, water, clothing, comfort. Why? Because it makes the sinning feel sooooooo good.

The best part about falling off the wagon is hitting the ground.