Study hard...there will be a test!

I think most of us have seen at one time or another a test to help determine if you're an alcoholic or not. These tests often ask questions to the vein of:

-Do you drink alone regularly

or

-Have you ever had a drink to try to get rid of a hangover

As far as I can tell, these are merely stage one type of questions. While playing hooky from work at the neighborhood Public House (look it up) in honor of the Colts Super Bowl win, we came up with a few of the Stage #2 questions:

-Have you ever not brushed your teeth in the morning because it makes the booze taste funny?

-When you're checking out at the liquor store has the cashier ever asked you if you're having a party? By the way, you’re not.

-Have you actually ever considered buying domestic "tall-boys" not because they're cheaper, but rather because they're more labor-efficient?

-Have you ever asked a bartender if he'll let you make you're own martini?

- Frank Sinatra said, "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." Do you feel as if you know exactly where he's coming from?

-Have you ever ordered "a double" without being asked?

-Have you ever ordered a beer plus a bourbon or a scotch? (apologies to Mr. Thorogood and his Destroyers)

-Rather than the bartender asking you if you'd like "the usual," has he ever just placed it in front of you instead?

-Do you now, or have you ever had a bottle of hooch stashed somewhere hidden in your vehicle?

If you answered yes to any of these, you might just be a kindred spirit.......................................though you're probably just a drunk.