A Year Passes So Quickly

It was a year ago today that I felt the greatest pain I have ever known.  That is the pain of tragically loosing my older brother at the young age of 30.  When I found out, I was absolutely shook to the very core of my being.  A piece of my heart was torn out and permanently removed with his passing.  Growing up my brother and I were very close.  As adults in our 20s we were even closer.  We lived together as adults and even when I did move out with my wife, I only moved 1 block away from him.  I couldn't have asked for anything more in a big brother as a child.  He was the type of child/brother/person that led by example because that is who he was.  A true role model to look up to without ever making a concious effort to be a role model.  Everything I did as a child and teen was the result of me trying to emulate what my brother did before me.  So much of the success I have enjoyed in life is a result of that.

Growing up my brother and I always loved to game.  We played, NES, SNES and N64 for days on end with epic sessions of Mario, Zelda, NHL and Madden.  My brother and I started university around the time the PS2 and xbox hit the market and being poor students we missed out on that generation.  We finished our university educations during the current generation (we both did post graduate work - my brother did a masters in Molecular Biology) and once our loans were paid off we were gaming on the 360.  We both picked up COD4  and for a brief moment we were playing together like the good old days.  Then I woke up one morning and it was all over.

I sit here a year after my brother passing and I am left with a double edge sword.  Another year has gone by so quickly which makes it feel like time is passing by extremely fast.  This is a good/bad thing when you are in my position.  It is a good thing because the pain of loosing my brother is raw and difficult to handle at times.  It is a bad thing because I have so many other amazing things going on in my life that I don't want to miss out on (I recently got married, my wife and I are expecting our first child, we moved into our new condo etc).  I try to take each day as it comes.  I often think of the lifetime worth of good times and memories that my brother and I shared during his short 30 years.  Some days, like today, are just harder than others.  I miss you Bro.