How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity in the Workplace

madwoman

Shared on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 11:22
1) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

2) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.

3) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."

4) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

5) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.

6) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.

7) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.

8) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

9) Every time someone asks you to do something, anything, ask them if they want fries with that.

10) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.

11) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.

12) Put your trash can on your desk. Label it "IN."

13) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.

14) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

15) Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has withdrawn from caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

Comments

XSSmoke's picture
Submitted by XSSmoke on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 11:35
ahahah, the cat phote is the SHIT, bahahahah , omg I love that.
jonny12gauge's picture
Submitted by jonny12gauge on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 12:47
I am a HUGE fan of office hijinks, I will give those a try! That cat is hilarious as well!!
dos's picture
Submitted by dos on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 13:09
what's up with the condensed profile pic?
madwoman's picture
Submitted by madwoman on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 13:14
I'm no good at fixing the size so its not so blurry...not my department. Please check with IT. :) :) Hee! Hee!
JeepChick's picture
Submitted by JeepChick on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 13:51
I love this! Just what I needed after sitting at this desk for 6 hours.....is 5 o'clock yet?
madwoman's picture
Submitted by madwoman on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 13:53
Soon JeepChick, soon! At least the week is half over! :)
Spidey's picture
Submitted by Spidey on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 14:22
Hmm, which one to try first. Maybe the email one. Another one that is funny is go to PopularityDialer.com and set it to dial a coworker. Its funny to just sit back and laugh at their reaction.
madwoman's picture
Submitted by madwoman on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 14:45
Nice find Spidey! :)
Boulder's picture
Submitted by Boulder on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 20:21
NICE!
BATMANKM's picture
Submitted by BATMANKM on Wed, 08/01/2007 - 22:56
Thank goodness I dont have to deal with "office" crap anymore :-) My favorite though If I was back in that rat race, would be the switching of the coffee with decaf for 3 wks then hit em with the espresso! :lol: :lol: - BAT
TexasTwister55's picture
Submitted by TexasTwister55 on Thu, 08/02/2007 - 07:16
Oh yeah, the coffee thing would be fun, except when they are in withdrawal mode.
madwoman's picture
Submitted by madwoman on Thu, 08/02/2007 - 07:50
I would be one of those sad souls on withdrawls cause I couldn't go without my "Go Juice". I sometimes wish I was back in my office just to pull some of this stuff. There were a few guys who were pretty creative when I worked at "The Office". :)

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