I've asked you nicely 12 times to stop sending me FWDs. Are you Retarded?

Yes, I realize that the email that your college roommate (from 15 years ago) sent you made you LOL and you can’t stand the thought of anyone missing out on this totally original joke/scam/e-card. But when I open my inbox and see 32 forwards and have to sift through it all to get to the important emails I get a tad bit irritated. 

You see, Betty Lou, I really don’t care about the poor African man who is strapped to the ass of an elephant and will never be free unless I forward this 14 of my closest friends. And whilst I’m sure that Bill Gates is a great guy, it is unlikely that he is sitting at home in his bathrobe, closely monitoring this FWD preparing to write checks to all of us.

And as a special bonus you wrote:    “I’m not sure if this is for real or not…” At the beginning of the FWD. Meaning…..”I don’t want to look like an ass by myself, so I thought I’d waste your time too.”

Seriously, let’s count. 4 emails about cats/dogs , 10 about angels and free wishes, 4 with inappropriate jokes/pics that could get me fired, and 2 from the poor Nigerian woman whose husband left us all his millions of $.

I know that I’ve told you…asked you…begged you 12 times to stop flooding my inbox with this drivel yet each time you justify it because “OMG you’ve totally got to see this one!” And each time I’ve discovered that I could very easily live without it.