Hello Again.

I don't want to dwell and blah blah blah, but I want to explain where I've been why I faded out. There is a difference between saying you are ok, healed and moving on and actually being those things.

I lied to a lot of people and mostly myself when I said that I was back to myself months back. The loss of my father was and is a huge emotional blow to my mother, my family and me. I will never be fully healed. We were too close for me to say that. Holidays and special moments of tradition that we shared I honor alone or differently and as this is a year of firsts for all that it's been a bitch. I know this is the way of life, to every season turn turn, we all gotta go sometime, and my favorite "at least he lived a long life." Blah, blah, blah. Knowing that he lived fairly long or this was inevitable doesn't make it feel better when you love someone deeply and they pass on, at least in my book. Still, it is what it is.

But I can and do persist. I support the others who feel the loss. And now I truly smile, laugh and go on. I swagger. I have a voice again and enough time has passed to allow a point of view not borne out of sadness or trying to mask it. I have thoughts to share and hopefully you will want to hear some of them and share your thoughts back with me.

So my posts from here on out will be as moved. And they won't all be about gaming though, I maintain for me at a predominantly gaming oriented site I'm hardly about to go on about super personal stuff (like this) unless it is relevant and relates to gaming or an interest. I don't intend to get too far off of likely common interests we may share (assorted geekdoms, movies, film, humor etc.,). Finances in my current world are tight ( I suspect I'm not the only one) thus all my gaming machines are generations behind the curve. Yet, I am a gaming woman through and through so I must work with what I've got because I have got to play. I can't NOT talk about gaming -- it really is a great passion. I play when I can and swagger challenge others, shamelessly. Heck, I have a bevy stories to share about my gaming industry past. Tales of hotel parties, software and console launches, state of games, industries, "creative game positioning," E3, hotels, drunken party stunts, industry evolution... and how I grew up among all of it. Really, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Even some of the truly miserable parts.

I'll try not to sound like an old curmudgeon about it all either because frankly people, I'm many things but not that. I'm me, cool and just a bit older. Probably like you.

Anyway, hello again or nice to meet you. I hope you are well, happy and gaming like demon.

I'm Maxxie. And God (or deities - however you believe) know...I love to play.