Christmas songs

MikeTheKnife

Shared on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 08:06

I love Christmas tunes. Every year I listen to them pretty much the whole month of December. But damn, there are some shitty ones. Just this morning on the radio I heard Macy Gray singing 'This Christmas (Hang Up the Mistletoe)'.  What is it that gives these people an excuse to put out a shitty song and think it's OK because it's Christmas? I blame those Keith Haring-painted CD's that came out in the 80's and 90's. The first one was OK, the Sting and U2 tunes on there were great, and of course Christmas in Hollis is a classic. But every time I hear that Bruce Springsteen song come on (Hey Clarence, Santa gon' bring you a new sassaphone for Christma?), I just want to burn Christmas and watch it die a slow death. God that song is shitty. I am wincing right now just thinking about it.  Springsteen is great in his element, which is anything that requires talking or yelling. But making him hold out the word 'Santa' at a certain pitch is like torture for everyone involved.

Anyway, this Macy Gray tune--she can't even hit the fucking notes. It's too damn high for her gravelly man-voice. Does she not understand? Are there not sound engineers and techs who could say, hey maybe this isn't a great idea, let's get her to sing an easier song?  No, it's a christmas song, just push out whatever shit she wants to sing. There's a held note in there, and she's not even close. Not even fucking CLOSE to hitting the right note, it's horrible and I condemn it as shit. It's like she realizes she cant' hit it, so she just sings a high note and figures it's ok.   That song has gotta be off the same CD as that No Doubt Christmas song where God comes down and says OI to the punks and OI to the skins.  That is probably the most ridiculous lyric ever and I think we should put that song in a time capsule just so the future knows how retarded we were.

On the other side of the spectrum, I don't know this Buble guy but he can sing a damn fine tune.  Every time the radio plays that Macy Gray shitpile, it should have to play 10 songs by this guy. He sounds like someone took Harry Connick Jr. and somehow genetically enhanced his voice. It almost cancels out the shitty stuff. Almost.

Comments

Big0ne's picture
Submitted by Big0ne on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 08:20
+1
sicrik's picture
Submitted by sicrik on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 08:27
I got lost at "I love Christmas tunes"
J-Cat's picture
Submitted by J-Cat on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 08:38
My fave christmas tune: Drummer boy by Bing and Davie! And I totally agree with you. I see it as a cover tune sort of thing: either a) do the damn song justice or b) do it very differently but make it your own. Singing a classic tune (no matter the genre) does not make your version a classic.
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 08:44
Oh Sicrik, you grinchy fellow.
Baine's picture
Submitted by Baine on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 09:03
You are right about Buble or however its spelled. He looks like Sean Penns fat dead brother though.
GroovyElm's picture
Submitted by GroovyElm on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 09:04
There's a local Christmas song that's played to death here in VA, something like Christmas in the Blue Ridge or some crap like that. Makes Springsteen's Christmas song look like an award winner.
rabbmasterflash's picture
Submitted by rabbmasterflash on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 09:44
the one that makes me want to run my truck into a school bus, then over a bridge is the god damn "let them know it's Christmas time" one in the 80's I seriously hate that song
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Wed, 12/24/2008 - 09:53
feeeeeeeeed the wooooooooooorrrrlllllllld! That song is great for its gloominess.

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