College kids

Yesterday I was driving home past the University, like I do every day, and I saw something new. One of these slacker bastard dipshits was walking down a busy, trafficky street--in the bike lane. The fucking bike lane! These idiots think they own the road now.  I mean I can see a bike rider who doesn't like riding in the bike lane riding on the sidewalk. But this moron was just ambling along, in his raggedy cutoff jeans and his flip flops, yammering away on his cell phone. IN THE DAMN STREET!

Now I never wish ill will on people. I get angry and I rant but really I don't want to see someone hurt. But I might like to see this dickhead get nicked. Like a mirror to the shoulder or something. The sidewalk wasn't even crowded! AND the ahole wasn't paying attention. It boggles my mind that someone could be that damned oblivious.

My high school friend KP, once we had gone off to college, used to say 'If I could go back and meet my high school self, I'd beat the shit out of him'. And now I feel that same way about my college self.  I remember how it was--the feeling of invincibility, the laziness, all that shit. What a waste of time and money. If you're one of the people who went to college to learn and you worked hard, congratulations. I am sure I never met you while I was there. I wish I could Bill & Ted it back there and warn myself to just skip it and get an early start on my career, because I am not working anywhere close to the field I studied in college. Either that, or I could have warned myself to be even lazier and not do shit, because the degree wasn't going to help anyway.