Lunchbox

MikeTheKnife

Shared on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 15:28

Recently my girlfriend started making me lunches for work every day. Not being a normal part of my routine, I forgot the lunches about half the time which made her very angry. Much more angry than I thought was normal, but that's another discussion. This blog is all about my awesome method of food conveyance.

In an effort to make myself remember my lunches, I bought this fancypants lunchbox from Costco.  It's very stylish, with lots of nylon and velcro and bungie-type cording. it also came with a steel thermos but fuck that. We have a soda machine.

There's a stylish rubber emblem on it that says 'CI-Sport'.  I guess the velcro expansion strap and the bungie cords make it 'sport'. Even better, right along the zipper of the expandable outside pocket, it repeatedly says 'High Performance'.  What kind of fucking performance do I expect? Can I put food in it? Yes. Will it keep the food slightly below room temperature? Yes.  Is it ACTION PACKED? I guess that's up for debate.

So now I have this extreme, strappy lunchbox. It's already a heart-poundinly exciting piece of equipment. But then I open it up. The inside is lined with some type of foil. The foil is stamped with two different emblems. THe first says 'Therma-flect'. This I understand. It's thermally resistant, and it's foil so it's reflective.  Nice choice of materials. However, the second emblem in the pattern says "Ultra-Safe". What the fuck? Now I'm worried. Before, I thought it was just a lunch sack. Now I'm wondering, what is dangerous enough about this piece of high-grade equipment that led the manufacturer to try and reassure me of it's safety?  Has CI-Sport been known to release poisonous lunchboxes in the past? Do normal lunchboxes contain some type of danger associated with their sportiness that has been rectified in this latest line? Why the fuck would they use ultra-safe?

OK I give up. I'm just bored at the end of my lunch break and wanted to make a post. Now it's over so I can no longer examine every little detail of my super lunch box. But I am still a tiny bit curious about 'Ultra Safe'.

Comments

VenomRudman's picture
Submitted by VenomRudman on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 15:32
Ultra-safe means that if you leave shit in there for a month, it won't leak out and kill you in your sleep.
rabbmasterflash's picture
Submitted by rabbmasterflash on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 16:06
It means you are becoming a domesticated man is what it means welcome brother
YEM's picture
Submitted by YEM on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 16:26
grade eh
MikeTheKnife's picture
Submitted by MikeTheKnife on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 17:45
That sounds canadian for 'fuckin rad'
P_Train_of_Love's picture
Submitted by P_Train_of_Love on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 17:55
If you can open it yourself, it is not ultra-safe, since you only have 3 working brain cells. btw, are you going for some fucking blog post record? You and your lunch box suck ass. Unless it has Hong Kong Phooey on it... that would be fucking rad.
char's picture
Submitted by char on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 18:22
You freak. You sound like me....lol You are not going to see it, so I'm telling you now ...+1 I like the old days when I could just give you a thumbs up and move on.....oh well, progress....whatcha gonna do = )
sicrik's picture
Submitted by sicrik on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 18:30
sounds like its sponsored by NASCAR with all the different labels!!
DrTHE0P0LIS's picture
Submitted by DrTHE0P0LIS on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 18:33
TTIWWOP
GroovyElm's picture
Submitted by GroovyElm on Thu, 03/12/2009 - 19:16
Thumbs down for not using a GI Joe lunchbox like the rest of us cool kids. Not really.

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