Hospital Charting

MrwhiteII

Shared on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 18:29

Medical transcriptionists have a rough job. The lingo is often times bewildering. Add in an accent, background noise, and the blazing run-through of pertinent negatives... the result can be indecipherable. Here are a few examples a patient gave me today:

The pelvis exam will be done later on the floor.

The patient refused an autopsy.

Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

Examination of genitalia revealed that he is circus sized.

Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

She has no rigors or shaking chills but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

Occassional constant infrequent headaches.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

The lab tests indicate abnormal lover function.

Comments

Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 18:45
It's no wonder more people don't die in hospitals. BTW, those were hilarious.
Caesar's picture
Submitted by Caesar on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 19:25
man i feel for u, try this with numbers i get the same shit, from people who request changes to my complex models. i want to kill them. is that 66.0 or 68.0 gd it
SamBrick's picture
Submitted by SamBrick on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 19:34
So, a couple of tubes of vicodin and everyone's happy? ;-)
wareaglebeene1's picture
Submitted by wareaglebeene1 on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 20:00
Do they call you Dr. Whitell? lol
Avril's picture
Submitted by Avril on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 20:32
Haha, good stuff. I work at a vet and one of the techs I work with, although very good at her job isn't the best speller. She often writes "diseased" when a patient is deceased...tragic and funny, yet always makes me laugh.
meemoos's picture
Submitted by meemoos on Tue, 04/03/2007 - 21:39
Nice! A Radiologist that I worked with (in the early days) would dictate his findings while in the bathroom. The poor transcriptionist. I do miss the VCUG!
CrypticCat's picture
Submitted by CrypticCat on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 01:30
I liked those... circus sized... roflcopter!
Deman267's picture
Submitted by Deman267 on Wed, 04/04/2007 - 08:11
....abnormal lover function..lol
killthrash's picture
Submitted by killthrash on Wed, 08/20/2008 - 12:58
I really hear you on this one. I implement medical software and have also implemented transcription/voicescript software. There's some wacky shit I've seen come across.

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