Lost a Patient

Ohhh, you know I am an oncology nurse.  I deal with everything from newly diagnosed, to chemo slinging, and death and dying.  I thought I could handle anything, I've been doing it so long.  But then, something comes along that catches you off guard and........

There was this patient with leukemia that was on 3 day/week blood support cuz his bone marrow was destroyed by high dose chemo.  Without frequent transfusions of blood and/or platelets, he would surely die very quickly.  We all got to know him and his wife very well, and luved them both.  Today, I found out that Monday, just a few days ago, he spiked a temp, had a critical event, and died suddenly.  Well, we all think the critical event was a brain hemmorhage since he had no platelets to speak of.  I just saw him last Friday, looking buff, as usual.  Ack!  Not this one!  It caught me waaaay off guard.  My co-workers and I had a long discussion and did some on-the-spot grieving.  I am so very sad about this.  But, I can't dwell on it.  There are so many others.......