perfection?

Is there any such thing as perfection?  As screwed up as my life is right now, there is one part of it that is wonderful and good.  I have found my soul mate, and in doing so have found the peace I have always wanted so badly.  Yesterday, I drove almost 4 hours in the rain, praying that the temperature would not drop and it would turn to snow or freeze.  Well, I made it!  Got lost again.  Nothing unusual about that!  But, he talked me in on the phone and I arrived in one piece.  From then on, it was the most perfect evening I have ever had.  Why?  Ahhhh, no details, but we went to a party, which was a lot of fun, and then we went home.  mmmmmmm  This man is an uber romantic, and I just love it! 

So, do I deserve such perfection?  I think so, but there is also the stbx to think about.  Yes, we are working on a divorce, and that part is painful.  I do know that he is fading in a way that I can't explain.  He is hugely depressed and lonely.  Is that really my fault?  He thinks so, but if it was the reverse, I would do something about it!!!  He is holed up in "our" house, doing nothing, and sinking deeper into whatever hole he has fallen into.  Again, is that my fault?  I say, sink or swim, and I would much rather swim! 

So, mediation is under way, and it is only a matter of time.  Hopefully, a short time since our year of separation required for a divorce is up in 2 weeks.  I am happy and sad at the same time.   Y'all that have been thru it prolly know what I mean.  Happy is definitely winning out, tho!  And, I am going shopping!  Williamsburg has outlet malls and a million other places to explore.  Then lunch with the man.  Then.......