Sunday Morning Thoughts

I have been a little concerned/disappointed at the amount of blogging that goes on in this site.  Yeh, I know, blogging is a choice and sometimes we just don't feel like writing or don't have anything to say.  And, the only ways we know that anyone even reads them is the number of hits and comments.  I tend to not get many comments, that is, unless I say something a little controversial and a flame war breaks out.  Oh yeh, I doubt that has ever happened to me before.  Well, not on this site, anyways.  But, even tho I tend to read and move on, I do enjoy the blogs, and I miss them.  Yes, the latest gaming news is always nice, but I really like hearing about things and people.  I guess that's why I write what I do, in hopes that others will do the same.  So, summer is winding down.  That is not an excuse, any more.  We (I) want to hear from all of you!  I miss you.

Work is settling down.  Well, a little.  No more melt downs for me.  Oh yeh.  I'm an idiot, but when I am stressed over the top, I just stop in my tracks and cry.  Woe is me.  But, I took a mental health day last Friday, and it worked.  I am once again mentally healthy!!!  Oh, well, um, in that respect, anyways.  Otherwise, I am still as twisted and psychotic as always.  The good and the bad are becoming very obvious now that we have been there for a couple weeks.  The good?  It is beautiful, big with more room for more patients, um, a great coffee machine that we are not allowed to use.  Blah.  How do they know what is in my coffee cup?  The bad?  I could go on and on. 

1.  It is a more "sterile" environment.  It's a hospital-like clinic with long halls and rooms for 4 chairs in "cubicles".   The opportunities for patients to mingle and talk to each other, have spontaneous group therapies, and just be friendly have virtually disappeared.

2.  The space looks enormous until you have 4 patients, their family members, our nice, big carts for our supplies, etc. all in one room.  Yikes!  Suddenly it is very small and crowded.

3.  We still don't know where everything is, and have to go from supply room to supply room looking for what we need.  There is really no time for that!

4.  We are so stretched out that we don't even know who else is working.  We can go a whole day without seeing any other nurses.  It makes one feel isolated.  The patients feel it, too.

5.  There is so much more, but the main thing is, what were they thinking???  This whole "cancer hospital" was built for beauty, not function.  It looks impressive, but is very difficult to work in.  Patients are initially impressed, then they say they miss the old place cuz they don't get to visit with other patients any more.  I get asked a lot what I think, and, my response is always the same.....  This place was not built with nursing care or patients in mind.  It was built to impress with it's beauty.   And, everyone pretty much agrees with me.  Blah!

Now, what is next?  Duke is going to build an 8 or 9 story cancer hospital of it's own.  Ha!  They cannot let their biggest rival, UNC, show them up.  WTF?  Doesn't anybody care about the patients any more?  They don't want private rooms or busy, harrassed nurses.  They want gentle, tender loving care with people that luv their job.  They want to sit and chat with others about what is happening in their "journey", and cry with friends when they get a bad report.  We want to have the time to celebrate "graduation" by singing and making noise when someone finishes treatment.  And so much more that is now missing from our environment.

This is not a rant.  More like a sign of changing times.  I'm just putting it out there, cuz slinging chemo used to be so much more, and a job that I luved.  Now......it's changed.