A few months later

A few months back I blogged about what was going on with my son and his mother, about her basically abandoning him and the hoops I had to jump through to get custory altered so he could live with the family of a friend.

Over the past few months my son's undergone a wonderful transformation back to the person he was on his way to becoming several years ago.  Gone is the sullen, moody boy and his place is once again a happy, well-adjusted young man.  He laughs quite a bit now, he's very focused on school and sports and has been considering options for his future after high school.  The environment he's moved into has proven to be exactly the kind of environment I'd hoped it would be.  There's been a learning curve (on both ends I think) since my son went from basically raising himself with no accountability into an environment where his whereabouts were to be accounted for at all times and there were consequences for not following rules.  When we first set up this arrangement I made it very clear to the parents where he was going to be staying that it was their roof, their rules.  If they felt the need to punish him, ground him, take something away...then go for it.  And if they encountered any problems to please call me immediately. 

All of this occurred, from him getting in bits of trouble to getting phone calls discussing elements of his day to day life.  Its been a great experience for me as well, since for the first time since...well, ever...I am completely in the loop regarding my son's activities and life in general.  He's gotten used to having structure now and pitches in with his assigned chores which include babysitting the younger kids when the parents want to go out for an evening.  I've told the mom there more than once that she's the ex-wife I'd always wanted.  :)

One of the benefits to this working out is that my son is able to finish what he started down where he lives and wasn't forced to start over again up by me in Chicago.  While I would have loved for him to live with me it would have been difficult for him to go through this big of an adjustment for one year.  I owe a great debt to the family he's staying with, they stepped up and helped my son tremendously.

Its a relief to me knowing that my son is growing up in an environment where he is able to grow up understanding discipline and respect for others as well as for himself.  I've done my best over the years to be involved, and as difficult as it can be with 150 miles between us I can honestly say that while I've made mistakes I don't feel that I've let my son down at all in this regard. 

I know after I blogged about what was going on I got a lot of messages of support and many of you were thinking of us and praying for us.  I wanted to let you all know that everything is going well right now and to thank you for the support while I was going through this.