The story of my new wallet

So we stop at Meijer this past Friday night, me and the kid.  We pick up some groceries when I decide I need to use the rest room really quick.  Not one to argue with an aging prostate, I head for back where the bathrooms are.  Now here's where it gets a little...well, decide for yourself what it is;

I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie I had zipped up.  Being that I was in a hurry and had to go reallybad, I opted to hike up the hoodie with it zipped while I took care of business.  At this point I should mention I had my wallet in the right front pocket of my zipped hoodie.  So as I'm finishing up and trying to figure out what groceries we still needed, I heard an unpleasant noise:

PLOP

As my mind raced trying to come up with anything...anything at all...that might have made that sound other than what I knew it meant, it occurred to me that I needed to act fast.  So I quickly looked down to observe my wallet floating on top of the inside of the urinal...that I had just used...and beginning to sink.  So I grabbed a dry edge and flung it into the sink across from where I was standing and immediately emptied/salvaged what I could.  I washed all my IDs and credit cards, insurance cards, everything that could withstand water.  Fortunately all of these items were dry (thus hopefully untarnished) before I washed them, but I was taking no chances.  I had no cash on me, and the only real damage aside from the wallet itself seemed to be a couple old gas station receipts.  No big loss, but I wanted to go through the wallet again outside the store just to be sure.

So I come out of the rest room holding the wallet like you might a dead rodent, and dumped it into the body of the cart (no groceries there yet).  My son asked what I was doing, and didn't even attempt to keep from laughing at me as I explained what had happened.  Being that we were at Meijer I was able to find a new wallet quickly, we grabbed a couple more items, and then went to a self-checkout lane so as to avoid any questions about the wallet sitting quite alone in the shopping cart.

We went outside, I did a quick check to make sure nothing else of importance was in it...and we abandonded it where it lay, inside the shopping cart.

So if you were at a Meijer store and happend to see a wallet in a shopping cart and picked it up thinking you might have hit the jackpot...I hope this story didn't piss you off.  :D