the third wave gargles nut

puddin

Shared on Thu, 06/07/2007 - 17:24

i hate coffee. everything about it. the aroma, the taste, the (dare i call it a) culture. all of it. right down to it's clever little caffeinated molecular composition. (*ahem* c8h10n4o2 binds our reality) and all the other alkaloidal acquaintances it's akin to: cocaine, morphine, quinine, nicotine.....nice friends, asshole. that being said, i also can't live without it. i breathe coffee. hell....at times i eat it. but only a good indonesian. new giunea, preferably. though not the peaberry starbuck's occasionally carries. (to be honest, i have my doubts it's really a new guinea at all. too acidic. i'd say it's likely a tanzanian.) yep, i fuckin' HATE coffee! strong words perhaps? right. well. it's certainly not some blind, irrational, without good reason sort of hate. no, i've built a rather extensive arsenal of valid gripes. at least a decade's worth. now, for years there has been a swelling dilettante army of coffee elitists being pressure brewed into a tightly knit, while somewhat unrecognized, new generational sub-culture. self proclaimed die hard baristas rising from the ashes of their part-time-while-in-college apprenticeships at whatever corporate coffee chain quasi-giant held the market nearest the school they attended. easy enough to spot as they're likely still togged in the standard issue khaki and black polo uniform that was laid out in the dress code section on page eight of their employee manuals. unless of course you come across an independent coffee house rogue who, while still in "work" garbs, would no doubt be sporting a t-shirt adorned with some quippy remark directly berating his/her corporate counterpart. however, pointing out an actual functional difference between the two breeds would merely lead to frustration. both are masters of their art. as well as their destiny, for neither would show much hesitation if faced with the offer to jump ship and join the ranks of the others party. the rogue tempted by higher wages and possible health insurance - the corpy by lament for the chronic and no random piss tests. but make no mistake! ALL are fully dedicated to the pursuit of pretending to know what the fuck they're talking about and swear that they do indeed know how to make your cuban con panna the "right" way. if i had a point to make it might begin to become clear here. sorry...none shall pass.

spending no less than three hours a day driving to and from work, no small amount of effort is devoted to shrinking my perception of the passing of time. in the absence of new music and when talk radio transmissions become faint i just drive in the relative silence of the veterans expressway. which generally leads my thoughts into ranting diatribes that end up going nowhere once i reach my little cube. i figured instead i'd waste some company time (a little more than usual anyway) and put a thought or two here now and then. maybe even more frequently than every eight months or so. i don't really blog very often. and even less often i blog about myself. i can't really see where anyone but me would give a shit and...well, whatever. that hasn't stopped anyone else.

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