The Comedy Strip

Things You Would Never Hear A Southerner Say:

1. We don't keep any firearms in the house.
2. Has anybody seen the sideburn trimmer?
3. You can't feed that to the dog.
4. I thought Graceland was tacky.
5. Wrestlin's fake.
6. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
7. Do you think my hair is too big?
8. Deer heads detract from the decor.
9. The tires on the truck are too tall.
10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.
11. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
12. She's too old to be wearing that bikini.
13. Hey, here's and episode of "Hee Haw" that we aint seen.
14. I don't have a favorite college football team.
15. I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
16. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
17. Checkmate!