First Impressions

A young businessman had just started his own import/export firm.  He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with the fines antiques and paintings.  Sitting there, full of himself, he saw a man come into the outter office.  Wishing to appear the big-wig he considered himself to be, the young businessman hastily picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big money deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made a giant commitment.  Finally he hung up and asked the visitor proudly, "Can I help you SIR?"  The man said, "Sure.  I've come to hook up your phone!"

Real Poker Players

A group of men are playing poker at Sid's house.  A guy rushes in and says, "Sid, Tommy's in the kitchen making love to your wife!  Sid says, "That's it!  Guys, this is positively the last deal!"