Lovemaking Tips for Seniors

1.  Wear your glasses.  Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2.  Set timer for three minutes in case you doze off in the middle.

3.  Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

4.  Write partners name on their forehead in case you cannot remember.

5.  Keep the Polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

6.  Make all the noise you want..... the neighbors are deaf, too.

7.  If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

8.  Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

9.  Don't even think about trying it twice.