Funny Valentines Quotes - Funny Quotes about Valentines

I just love to do special things for my wife on Valentine's day. Like open the door for her when she puts all the laundry in the washing machine, or plug and unplug the vacuum as she moves from room to room cleaning. Guys, it's these little thoughtful things you can do to have a marriage such as mine.

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Sales Ad at a Store: 'You are my one and only' valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.

Valentine's Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

Basement smells bad. Look for cat poops, change litter. Happy Valentines Day. (note to her gardener)

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.