NEW YEARS QUOTES

New Year's Day, New Year's Eve celebrations and New Year's resolutions are the topic of many funny quotes and humorous sayings about the holiday.

A funny New Year's saying or quote is a great addition to a photo album, scrapbook, greeting card, website or e-mail signature. Consider the following funny holiday quotes about New Year's, New Year's Eve and New Year's resolutions!

• "People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas." ~Unknown
• "Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average, which means, you have met your New Year's resolution." ~Jay Leno
• "Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account." ~Oscar Wilde
• "Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty." ~John Selden
• "The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears." ~W.H. Auden
• "New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." ~Mark Twain
• "Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits." ~Unknown
• "An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves." ~Bill Vaughn
• "New Year's Eve: Where auld acquaintance be forgot...Unless, of course, those tests come back positive!" ~Jay Leno
• “The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul." ~G.K. Chesterton
• "It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets." ~William Thomas
• "Ever new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?" ~Ogden Nash
• "New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time." ~James Agate
• "I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me." ~Anais Nin
• "Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." ~Bill Vaughn
• "A dog's New Year's Resolution: I will not chase that stick unless I actually see it leave his hand!" ~Unknown