In which may appear an embarrassing admission

I love the self-checkout lines at grocery stores... it appeals to my nerd side: "I get to use a computer at the grocery store? Cool!"  I also don't have to talk to anybody, I can just motor though the store with my head down, only acknowledging other humans when hot soccer moms come into view (sadly, a rare occasion in Pittsburgh, it's more likely to be skanky rednecks), and your purchases are completely anonymous, which is perhaps my favorite part... say you have to buy Preparation H and feminine products.... would you rather hand those items to cashier ("please GOD don't let her be a hot chick") or scan them yourself in relative anonymity, shove them into your bag and scamper out of the store without anyone being the wiser.  It is even better now that they have changed the way the things work, they used to announce what you were purchasing, ie "Please move your... bananas... to the belt," but now they just announce the price and say "move your item," which means you won't have to deal with embarrassing situations where the computer is yelling, "Please move your.... ASS CREAM.... to the belt," to everyone from dairy to produce.

On a similar note, and here is the embarrassing admission, yes... I did actually need that Prep.H... and let me tell you, I am bitter about it.... I am NOT supposed to need that shit until I am 40 and have a good job, so I can be sitting in the bathroom thinking "well, i have a swollen and itchy rectum that requires me to finger myself, but at least I am pulling down $200k a year and have 4 lovely kids to mow the lawn," ... not when I am fucking 26 and unemployed.  *sigh* Anyone want to hire an experienced Flash programmer?