SarcasmoJones
Shared on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 08:55I had an epiphany on my way to work this morning, as I sped up to prevent a slow-moving and vision-obscuring construction vehicle from getting in front of me on the freeway: one day all of the folks I terrorize and fuck over on the way to work are going to be waiting for me in the parking lot at my place of employment. They will likely be armed with guns, pitchforks, torches, and baseball bats dipped in glue then rolled in broken glass. How many times have I nearly caused an accident by diving in front of another car, when there really wasn't enough space, to prevent the inconvenience of having to make a u-turn to come back to make my turn? How many times have I given the bird in response to a honking disapproval of having nearly caused an accident? How many times have I denied a larger vehicle the space in front of me to keep my field of vision nice and wide, only to give them the finger as I sped up? I doubt that there are many folks who would describe me as a nice guy, and the folks I share the freeway with in the morning would probably describe me in less flattering terms than the people that I work and live with. If you happen to be one of the folks who drives east on Airport Freeway, just south of DFW Airport, between Bedford Road and Amon Carter between 7:20 and 7:30 during the week, and have not been assaulted by a little blue Civic in the right lane, then I wanted to take this opportunity to say "fuck you"...see ya at the lynching.
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Submitted by Vix_Sundown on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 12:12
I prefer to dip my glue-covered bats in nails. Preferably roofing nails, but I digress...
I was born in Dallas. Graduated from UTA in Arlington. I've been through DFW many times, probably the very area you mentioned. If it is any consolation, all drivers Dallas traffic fuck each other over. You would have to really stand out to attract that much attention! Ever considered a post-retirement career as a cabbie in New York? You'd do great!
My dad lives in Cedar Hill. I'll be headed down there around Thanksgiving to visit him. I'm gonna keep my eyes peeled for that blue Civic! If I happen to see you, I'll be sure to have my middle finger at the ready :)
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 13:05
You're from Dallas...you don't write with a drawl.
Submitted by Vix_Sundown on Fri, 10/11/2013 - 15:10
Well I've become acclimated to Ohio, so I drink a lot of "pop" now and say "you guys"...
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 01:07
Y'all could have a Coke instead.
Submitted by LocGaw on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 07:33
He is not from Tennessee. It seems to me that all soda is called Coke(even orange) there.
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 13:53
Yeah, because calling everything a Coke only happens in Tennessee. When I moved to Las Vegas in 1988, folks thought that my soda nomenclature was the most interesting part of my vernacular. One of the guys I worked with asked me if I called an orange soda an orange Coke...I told we we call an orange soda a Pepsi.
Submitted by Oldschool 2o4f on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 21:40
Can't be any worse than your driving on the track Jones....
And Coke has more orange flavoring, Pepsi more lemon...amateur.
Besides everyone in Tennessee drinks Mountain Dew.