Oklahoma Fried Chicken

 Just in case you were wondering "what's the worst possible way to cook chicken", I offer the following recipe for disaster.

You will need:

1 Okie with no discernable cooking skills

Italian Dressing

Spray can of Pam, or non-stick equivalent

.000001 ounce of cooking oil

A "way too small for the job at hand" skillet or frying pan

Money to go out and eat afterward

Step 1: Advise the Okie that there is no such thing as "pan-fried" chicken...it needs to be covered almost completely  in oil to cook thoroughly, battered in eggs and milk, then rolled in flour to get that crust that is the prominent feature of fried chicken. Argue for a minimum of ten minutes before reversing your position and agree with the Okie that "of course pan frying two bone-in leg quarters with Pam and a drop of oil should work just fine."

Step 2: Compliment the chicken aroma every ten to fifteen minutes while quietly asking the children where they would like to eat tonight. You have have plenty of opportunity to be complimentary, as it takes a very long time to cook chicken quarters this way.

Step 3: As the chicken passes from completely raw to burned on the outside and raw on the inside, this is the time to console the Okie. Allow the sobs to subside before stating that "you told them so." The new round of sobbing should give you time to get the kids ready and warm up the car.

Step 4: Most Taco Bells are open late.