SarcasmoJones
Shared on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 01:16I work in the shipping department for a company that makes golf shafts. As a result of working in the golf industry, a lot of the people I work with are the self absorbed golfer types in pink polo shirts. One of the vice presidents of my company tried to steal my water cooler twice today...I'm talking about a fan that pulls air through paper fins soaked with water, not the kind that you drink from. Some folks call it a swamp cooler. The company has set up a virtual driving range inside the warehouse, and now that it is getting warmer, they are starting to worry that customers may be uncomfortably warm while they're swatting at balls. I work out in that shit all day, man...what are these polo shirt potato heads going to do when it's 110 degrees in the shade come August? It was only 85 today and they're trying to steal my cooler. Luckily, my boss had my back today. I'm pretty sure this isn't over yet, but in Texas, there are few things worth fighting for more than a patch of cool air in the summer.
- SarcasmoJones's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Submitted by CrypticCat on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 10:27
And none of you cowboys have the bright idea to order an extra water cooler? Or is this path of thinking too Indonesian?
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 12:55
Actually, that was my first response, Einstein...I thought it would be too obvious to include in my blog. It's funny how you assume that the most obvious solution would not have been brought up: you obviously don't think much of Texans...but that's okay. Texans don't really give a shit what other folks think anyway...and I'm certainly no exception. Thanks for sharing!
Submitted by CrypticCat on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 14:49
Okay, not you really have to help me understand the leap in logic here.
We're talking about water coolers and somehow that makes me think less of texans? Maybe you should change your name to JudgmentoJones. =)
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Wed, 05/29/2013 - 16:21
I'm not really here to help, but I'll do it this one time....you should always capitalize the word "Texan." I hope that helps and you're welcome. (I'll just assume the "not" in your first sentence was a typo and not how you really speak, so you probably don't really need help there.) As always, thanks for sharing! signed....JudgementoJones
Submitted by Oldschool 2o4f on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 06:17
Let me help Crypto, and I'm not really into this any more than Judgemento, but...
Everything's bigger in Texas, just ask any of them (and prepare for a 15 minute monologue, so grab a chair) and that includes assholes...apparently Jones works for Texan assholes...(see what I did there?)
Submitted by NorthernPlato on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 17:03
Next time it gets a bit warm, set up a fan and a hose in such a way that the water falls like rain. Tell your bosses it's the newest thing in golf simulation and that their range now among the leaders in providing this service. Bonus side effects include chuckling to yourself watching self-important people getting soaked making comments about how great their swing will be on the range this year.
And continue working in the heat with the proper equipment while dry. (at least it's a dry heat, arrrr)
Submitted by SarcasmoJones on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 18:22
The Tour Dept finally bit the bullet and bought brand new coolers for their guy last week and he's been running both of them full fucking throttle ever since. They were hesitant to buy new coolers because the idiot that runs the dept blew most of his annual budget on flat screen tvs, a tent, a fake grassy thing, etc...for the "virtual driving range." He came back to shipping today, stood in front of my cooler, then declared that my filter must be dirty because mine was not as cool as the one's on the virtual range. I hope that he felt appropriately stupid when I informed him that only the fan was running, not the water. It's never going to be comfortable in the warehouse, and if that ol' boy needs 2 coolers blowing full fucking tilt in eight five degrees...what's he going to do when it's mid August and it's 115 degrees in the shade? I love these self-absorbed golfing sub-geniuses that think they know shit...all the way down to their sweat-soaked pink polo shirts.
Submitted by NorthernPlato on Mon, 06/10/2013 - 20:12
Ha! Nice to hear that they won't be stealing your coolers at least. It's tales like this that make me shake my head that some people ever get budget-setting authority.
I'm sure there will be interesting stories come August :)
Submitted by DCJamison on Tue, 06/11/2013 - 00:49
This whole thing just makes me want to wear a pink polo while I race against Jones... hehe