What I Learned From Video Games

 I have been playing video games since the late 70s, and they have taught me some very important lessons that I surely would have misses otherwise:

1) Just because you find a loaded shotgun in a police station you shouldn't necessarily use it there.

2) A person can safely fall from any height as long as there is some hay to land in.

3) Eating wild mushrooms will give the consumer a myriad of beneficial effects.

4) If your car flips over, just floor the accelerator and the car will right itself shortly.

5) A 95 lb Japanese person can wield a 200 lb sword with ease.

6) Children are indestructible and cannot be harmed by magic or bullets.

7) Should you ever find yourself riddled with bullets, just drink some water and eat a bag of potato chips, because they are nature's surgical team.

8) You can tell if a person is a boss because the music will get faster when you see them.

9) Red barrels are filled with explosives, proceed with caution.

10) Hostile planets have the best loot.