Dear Flying Cat Lady

I understand pets become part of the family. And when the need to travel arises, deciding what to do to assure your pet's short term wellbeing can be quite complicated. For instance, do you put them in a kennel, leave them with friends, pay the kid down the street to try to remember to stop in to feed them, or just open the back gate and set them free? I'm certain there are numerous other options depending on your or your pet's circumstances. Here's one that never occurred to me until just after my family boarded a 757 set to fly 5+ hours to LAX: you could buy an extra ticket so your cat can fly the heavenly blue skies purring comfortably in the seat next to you. But before you do take on that significant expense, I'd ask you to consider a few things you might encounter on the plane.

 

First, a 757 model aircraft holds about 200 men, women, and children. You should expect a small percentage of that population, at least four by my estimation, to be allergic to cats. You should not be surprised to find at least half of the folks who are allergic to be highly disgruntled at having to make alternate seating arrangements at the back of the plane in an effort to buffer themselves from your fluff ball of dander. Nor should you be surprised if you have to make alternate seating arrangements multiple times to achieve similar goals.

 

Next, and this is really important, any critter occupying an airplane seat must have its seatbelt securely fastened during takeoff and landing. This will likely be deemed impossible for your four legged feline. So you will probably need a pet carrier. Please note that a carrier can't be buckled into a seat either. So don't borrow the carrier your neighbor uses once a year to take his rottweiler to the vet for shots. It won't fit under the seat in front of you no matter how many times you try and no matter which end you try to stuff in first.

 

Before some final notes on the carrier, you'll be pleased to know that three very friendly flight attendants will be joined by the very friendly gate attendant from inside the terminal. They will console you, bring you water, refund the airfare for the seat your cat can no longer keep warm, and they will even consult the airport's FAA representative to determine if an exception to the rules can be made for your pet. Then they will break the bad news. Your cat will have to go into the belly of the beast with the rest of the luggage. No doubt this will leave you in tears.

 

So back to the kitty carrier. Since you weren't planning on checking your pussy as luggage, you probably won't have a luggage compatible container. Meaning the dude loading luggage will take one look at your box, and will determine it and its contents could be irreparably damaged should any huge baggage be inadvertently thrust into it during the flight. This is when the aforementioned, friendly attendants will scatter and the unfriendly, airline woman in charge will appear. She will notify you that your kitty is no longer welcome on her airline, but could be re-welcomed if stowed in appropriate accommodations. She will deny your request to continue to hold the flight until you obtain such accommodations. Then, as politely and professionally as she can, she will ask you to get the fuck off of her airplane. You will be mad and sad. Nearly 200 people who were delayed 40 minutes waiting for your saga to play out will be very glad. There will even be a faction of that 200, like those who then had an extended need to tirelessly entertain a three year old confined to a small space for instance, who may even hold a grudge against you and your cat for years to come.