I have a penis. And I all too frequently find its masculinity overpowered by my wife and 3 offspring, all penis free. For instance, my 360 came back from repairs Wednesday. That evening, I managed to ignore the delivery box after work long enough to cook dinner and make sure all were adequately fed. I then unpacked the box, hooked up my console, fired everything up, and began installing updates, included the new experience. By the time the experience was downloading, my two youngest had camped on our couch, intently watching the green install status bar slowly creep across the screen as if they expected something truly amazing to happen at its completion, like cake magically shooting forth from the tv. And after 12 minutes, it did.
An entire cluster of little barbie and ken cartoons popped onscreen.
"OH MY GOSH!! They are ADORABLE!! DADDY, DADDY, DADDY!! Can we see that one??"
"beep"
"OH MY GOSH!! We can change her HAIR!!!" Which is about the time the othe two joined the fray. I ended up with all four females rushing the tv to point to their preferred hair style, eye brow configuration, skin color, shoes (holy crap, the shoes), sunglasses, etc. There was even a "discussion" regarding makeup. It took more than a half hour before they were satisfied.
They had a great time, for which I am glad. But I find the results disturbing. They didn't seem to understand that this little thing they had created was now my representation to the xbox community. They weren't thinking veni, vedi, vici in the Call of Duty realm. Nor were they trying to project proboscis. They were simply taking turns accessorizing. And now that it's over, my online virtual likeness is a chick.
I sort of dig the shark tooth mouth my four year old picked out. It sort of gives her a flesh eating look. And the camouflage pants are ok. Rainbow colored gloves, bright pink cat's eye shaped sunglasses, and cute freckles are definitely not my style. But mostly, I'm really bummed my avatar doesn't have bigger tits, because if after forty years of being a dude I have to have boobs, I want to go large.
Comments
Submitted by Buzz on Sat, 11/29/2008 - 20:08