Happiness is...

Filling up a 15 gallon tank, and it only cost me $23. I can't remember the last time that happened. Gas is at $1.44 here at the moment. Loving it. Almost makes me want to go out and buy a SUV. NOT.

Grace is...

F-18 Fighter Jet crashes into your house, killing your wife, two baby daughters, and your mother-in-law, and you have the ability to forgive the pilot and wish him no ill will:

Yoon, 37, pressed a handkerchief to his face and seemed to stagger upon viewing what little remained: a charred garage wall, piles of blackened beams, the family's Toyota Corolla -- miraculously undamaged -- parked on the street, and flowers placed nearby in memory of his family.

"I believe my wife and two babies and mother-in-law are in heaven with God," Yoon said at a news conference afterward. "Nobody expected such a horrible thing to happen, especially right here, our house."

Yoon said he bore no ill will toward the Marine Corps pilot who ejected safely before the jet plunged into the neighborhood two miles west of the runway at Marine Corps Air Station Miramar. "I pray for him not to suffer for this action," Yoon said. "I know he's one of our treasures for our country."

The plane was on a training flight when it crashed into the residential neighborhood Monday, setting several houses aflame.

Linky

I don't know if I'd be of the right frame of mind to even speak to the media if something like this would have happened to me.

Determination is...

Israel Del Toro. After being burned over 80% of your body, but having the strength of will to live and endure over 102 surgeries so that your son will not grow up without a father.

Face of Defense: Wounded Airman Lives for Son, Hopes to Stay on Active Duty
Story by Samantha Quigley
American Forces Press Service

WASHINGTON - Tech. Sgt. Israel Del Toro has made remarkable strides in his recovery in the three years and 102 surgeries since he and his team were ambushed by the Taliban in the mountains near Qalat, Afghanistan.

His fight to survive started on that mountain, where he refused to leave his 3-year-old son fatherless. He'd lost his father early in life and vowed his son wouldn't know what that was like.

The fight intensified when he woke up in the intensive care unit at Brooke Army Medical Center, Fort Sam Houston, Texas.

"They told me I was going to be in the hospital for another year, that I may or may not walk again, [and] that I was going to be stuck on a respirator for the rest of my life," Del Toro said. "I sat there for a few seconds and came back with, 'You can kiss my ass,'" he said.

Linky

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And now, some Xmas Humor...

If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.

Deer Santa, I wud like a kool Geers of Wahr fihgur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Caesar

Dear Caesar, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the sGeers of Wahr fihgur. At least HE can spell, you little retard. Santa

Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, JeepChick

Dear JeepChick, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? God damned hippies. You get a toy gun. Santa

Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Phreaks

Dear Phreaks, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a real favor? Leave me a bottle of eighteen year old scotch and a seventeen year old girl. Santa

Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Dahji

Dear Dahji, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give up that piece of tight little Latino ass, just to come back to your frigid alcoholic mother? It's time to give up that dream, kid. Let me send you a Gears of War 2 game instead. Santa

Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 3, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, LBSUTKE

Dear Francis, Who names their kid "LBSUTKE" nowadays? I bet you're a little gay homo. I'll set you up with a Barbie, you fag. Santa

Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Speedbmp

Dear Speedbmp, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. But when I'm not defiling teenage runaways on film, I unwind by drinking myself silly, squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table, and doing enough pure Columbian blow to kill a rhinoceros. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa

Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Taxi

Dear Taxi, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do and let me know if you're ever in Vegas. But know that I'm skipping your house this year. Santa

Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Love, doodi

Dear doodi, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. Man up, you little bitch. You're getting a sweater, again. Santa

Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, DSmooth

Dear Derrick, First stop callling yourself "DSmooth", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at Halo 3. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex because that's all your crack-whore of a mother can afford. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa