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TDrag27

Shared on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 09:35

Christian Side Hug! Dat Christian Side Hug!

Those are lyrics from a Christian rap group advocating the "side hug" so that your front parts don't touch. I've had the song in my head all morning since I heard about it on the radio at the gym. The lyrics continue on to say...

"If a girl walks up

With her arms spread wide

And she's front hug bound with that look in her eye

You better turn to the side

And pat her on the back

Cause Jesus never hugged nobody like that!"

At first I thought this was just a joke. Like a SNL parody. But turns out, it's not. It's real. I'm not Christian. But if I were, I would be terribly saddened to find out that Jesus would never give me a big ole' bear hug. No joke. That's sad.

You can google "Christian Side Hug" if you want to see the youtube video of the kids performing it.

 

Comments

HarackCred's picture
Submitted by HarackCred on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:27
it used to be can i have some sex with a side of hug. they indoctrinate the pedophiles early.
Fish66's picture
Submitted by Fish66 on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 13:48
The lyrics describe a potential sexual beginning that isn't wanted, hence the Jesus "hasn't". So if someone wants a Front Hug with that Look in their eye, turn to the side or tell them "Get the F__ away from me" I am a Christian and we as well most other religions will hug and express love. That is different then Sex. Some or most people cant tell the difference anymore.
Lala Calamari's picture
Submitted by Lala Calamari on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 09:53
WTF????
Big0ne's picture
Submitted by Big0ne on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 09:54
Where's the head smack smile? This is a case of some idiots trying to appeal to the culture in some way rather than rely on theology. The worst part is the uninformed will take what these numbnuts do and paint the rest of us with the same broad brush. So now since I'm a Christian, I get to be identified with these idiots. Yeah me.
govnamac's picture
Submitted by govnamac on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:18
Its because women are the devil, tempting us poor men with their evil front parts.
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:35
@ govnamac - And I'm OK with that!!!!!! ;) That was a hilarious video!!!!!!!
TDrag27's picture
Submitted by TDrag27 on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:38
Big - I know that this isn't an "every Christian thinks this way" kind of thing. I've received plenty of hugs from Christians. It's some splinter group that is repressed and weird. But can you blame me for blogging it? It's too awesomely retarded not to. =)
Big0ne's picture
Submitted by Big0ne on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:50
Nope, don't blame you at all. But just wait 'til the next LAN! :lol:
CiaranORian's picture
Submitted by CiaranORian on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 10:54
Crazy. Poor Jesus he would have given anyone any sort of hug they wanted :(
Zikan's picture
Submitted by Zikan on Thu, 12/17/2009 - 11:35
I'll give you a full on frontal lift you up and crack your back bear hug if it'll make you feel better.
Snuphy's picture
Submitted by Snuphy on Tue, 12/15/2009 - 11:19
you can also google "ex masturbator" and buy yourself a tshirt. But only after learning how to side hug properly.

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