2old4Duty

Section8: Why I Hate COD4

I write a weekly column for 2old4Duty. I don't normally post these to my blog, but with the release of COD4, I wanted to share this. Our clan is presently closed, but if you are into COD, get in line. This is a top notch clan with some great people. I know there are other very good ones out there, but I gotta give props to my peeps.

Now before you strip me of my stripes and confiscate my controller, hear me out. I’m almost certain you will agree with me on many points. Have I led you astray before? If I have, along with most other things, I don’t remember.

First of all there is this matter of time consumption. The day this terrible scourge hit the shelves I put in over eight hours. As a result of that and the hours I have since put in, my sprinting thumb is numb and calloused, not to mention my butt. On the plus side, I think I could lift a two ton truck with that thumb. Not many plusses I can think of for the stressed posterior.

Secondly, there is this accessory thing. I’m up to level thirty, which I think is Grand Poopah of the Potato Peelers, and the dang game keeps giving me stuff. I feel like Paris Hilton on Rodeo Drive! Now which camo goes best with this AK 47? Do I want a silencer or a laser site? Oooh, do I want bigger boom or badder bullets? Sheesh. In COD2, you picked a side, and then got shot. Or at least I did.

Oh, and it takes too short of a time to get into a game. I don’t have time to change the oil in my truck, take out the garbage, or BBQ a flippin’ elephant while I wait on a room. And when I get in, the people have been way too nice overall. I really miss the Halo lobby where you are made aware of how bad you suck, who slept with my momma, how gay I am . . . by the way, before you perverts go there, I’m not.

Then there is the matter of my reputation. It is being demolished! My kill/death ratio has gotten better. I actually have moved up to the middle of the pack. Well, in the public rooms, anyway. I’m supposed to SUCK! People are going to start expecting me to contribute in other ways than comic relief! Way too much stress . . . So as you can see, this evil software has totally disrupted my life. Curse you, Infinity Ward!

This is TexasTwister reporting from the little room with mattresses on the walls . . . OVER AND OUT