Teacher Humor

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' and I said '6'"
"But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the damn difference?"
"That's exactly what I said!"

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"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

Message on School Answering Machine

School answering machine message:
* To lie about why your child is absent, press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his
work, press 2
* To complain about what we do, press 3
* To swear at staff members, press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was
already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers
mailed to you, press 5
* If you want us to raise your child, press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit
someone, press 7
* To request another teacher for the third time this
year, press 8
* To complain about bus transportation, press 9
* To complain about school lunches, press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child
must be accountable and responsible for his/her own
behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not
the
teachers' fault for your children's lack of effort
.....hang up and have a nice day!"