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Kids and iPod Games

TKBosss

Shared on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 09:20

   My 10 year old son came to me this weekend and asked me to purchase a couple iPod games for him because his friends had them.  Backbreaker 2, some rough an tumble, injury happy football game.  The other game is apparently a "Freemium" game Zombie Farm, which I did not realize when I got it for him.  Well to make a long story short, I got a call from my bank yesterday concerning fraud on my credit card.  Yes, you guessed it my son had spent $367.49 on this Fucking game in a day.  I have emailed Apple hoping to mitigate the damage and see if they can reduce the charges.  I sent him to his room because I didn't want to rip his arm off and beat him to death with it (guess I've played too much GOW 3 lately).  I was too taken aback to yell at him or to seriously punish him.  As I talked to him (much later) I learned that he knew he was spending money, but didn't realize how much he had spent.  He described it like a gambling addiction.  

      For a little back ground my son has ADD, which so many kids today have been labeled that and slapped on medicine.  I was very against this and visited 3 child pychologist before deciding to let the doctor perscribe the smallest dose of Adderol to him.  It's night and day when he is on his medication.  It allows him to focus throughout the school day and it begins to wear off around 4:00 or 5:00 PM.  We have really worked with him on trying to remain focused after his medication wears off.  

   So anyway I have not issued a punishment as yet, as I want to make sure it sticks with him but I'm not unrealistic to what I will enforce.  I know I am a gamer at heart and so is Gabe.  I'm not sure how to punish him.  I don't think spanking him phases him at all.  I contemplated selling his 3DS, but my wife likes him to have that in the morning, as she is a school teacher and watches him until school starts, which allows her to get work done.  I have changed my itunes password so he doesn't know it, and I deleted all gaming apps from his iPod.  He has weekly work to do around the house to earn $20 weekly, but even at that rate it will take him 5 months to pay the money back.  

    What kills me is I don't really have a game budget dictated to me by my wife and I get whatever game I want when I want it.  You name a big name release and I have it preordered, and I buy games for my daughter and my son all the time to surprise them, such as Gunstringer just a week ago.  So I don't know what to think.  It's not like we generally turn the kid loose and don't monitor his gameplay, but we did give him a lot of leadway this weekend since it was rainy and nasty out all weekend.  Any Suggestions????

 

 

   

Comments

JPNor's picture
Submitted by JPNor on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 09:24
This sort of thing is an extremely common complaint that these app makers have to deal with. Same thing happened to a close friend of mine - her husband actually walked out and didn't return until the next day! She was able to place a call to the app maker and have the money refunded. The problem is that they make it SO easy for anybody (kid or adult, ADD or not) to spend huge amounts of money without realizing it. I would imagine that these companies are so afraid of lawsuits that if you call they may just reverse all the charges.
ekattan's picture
Submitted by ekattan on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 09:31
That shit happened to me. Got nailed $100 bucks for some "glitter star" points in some stupid game my wife downloaded for my 3 year old. I recommend you download games where you buy what you get. There are ton of free games with stuff you purchase is extra. So they live off mistakes like these. Make sure there is no extra content. If so delete the game.
CrashX27's picture
Submitted by CrashX27 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 10:29
Well, this is an interesting situation. Yeah, there are alot of free apps that make it easy to charge for additional items. They have caught a couple friends of mine for a couple hundred bucks. Angry Birds for the Android has been good. Free and keeps the "Buy full version" option out of the way of normal play. I like your idea of having your child work off the expence. More of an idea of a value on their actions. I am a single father of a 10 year old with ADHD. He has been on Ritalin LA for a few years during school and has recently been off mediacation. To have him focus, I have been having him take charge of chores (not for allowance) and get him involved in cooking and finances. With his focusing on details in life, it made it easier for him to realise when he looses track of thoughts or needs to get things done. This has also made it easier for him to accept and be conscious of both our spending. Made him more accepting of the word No. Have to make sure he knows money is not free, especially in a single income household.
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 11:09
@ CrashX27 The reason I have him do chores for allowance is to learn the value of a dollar, making him save for future games etc... He has actually paid off Skyrim and Power Up Heroes that he wanted for the Xbox. I generally say no to Rated M games, but haven't thought the Oblivion / Skyrim games have been that bad. I've considered going to Gamestop and canceling those two games to take the money he had paid on those to help pay his debt. At the same time I hate to take away what he's earned.
FadeIntoBlack's picture
Submitted by FadeIntoBlack on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 11:11
Good luck. I have a 6 year old that is just getting started and a 4 year old that wants to be like his brother. Reading your blog sounds exactly like my life and my approach, even down to the wife reasons. They play my iPhone all the time and I worry about those purchases.
slowthumbs's picture
Submitted by slowthumbs on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 12:20
I think you are taking the right approach. The fact that he owned up to it and admitted he knew what he was doing shows that he feels safe with you. That's more than a lot of kids have. I think he should pay off his debt, even if it does take 5 months. I agree taking away something he has already earned probably isn't a good thing. for you, consider it a small costly mistake that has now shown you to be extra vigilant on the types of games you ok. Makes me realize that i have to watch that on my ipad/ipod that my kids sometimes go off and play. I always keep them locked and they don't know my itunes pw. i would say keep up the good work and kudos on your working with your son - he'll remember you for this. he may not like it now, but he'll remember it.
pp2's picture
Submitted by pp2 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 12:21
I actually had Zombie Farm when I had an iPhone, there's tons of crap to waste money on for sure. Tough call man. I'm sure he wasn't intending to run up the bill, most likely it was more of an expensive mistake on his part. I understand not wanting to annihilate him with punishment either.
Raider30's picture
Submitted by Raider30 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 12:33
My opinion: Make him pay for half. He admitted he knew he was charging money. That's on him. He probably really didn't realize the amounts being charged. He's 10, that is a legitimate and believable explanation from a 10 year old mindset. You authorized the download without fully understanding what you were doing. That's on you. I would explain to him that he would be paying for half of the charges, and that you would be paying the other half because you didn't fully check into something you probably should have. Make it clear to him that you taking some of the blame doesn't excuse his behavior but what it will do is(hopefully) show him that a grown-up takes responsibility for their actions, or lack thereof, as well. I don't think I would make him cancel the preorder on both Skyrim and PUH, but I would probably have him cancel one of them in order to help pay off his amount quicker.
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 14:29
@Raider 30 That's a fair assessment. What I didn't disclose was two things: 1. He had done this to the tune of a one time purchase in Infinity Blade for $50, and we explained that may have been a mistake, but that anytime a password request comes up, to check with mom and dad first. 2. My wife just said to him, while he was playing Zombie Farm. Remember, don't buy anything in an app. while you're playing. Make sure you read all the announcement screens as they come up and don't just jump past them. These were purchases made on purpose. I still will suck it up, and may split the cost with him as it is my responsibility, but it seems the more trust I give him the more he abuses that trust.
pp2's picture
Submitted by pp2 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 15:16
He could be pushing boundaries at this point too. I know thats sometimes an overused term, but its about the right age for them to start testing the waters of rebellion a bit. Again, not saying he was being malicious or realized the overall amount. Just talking about the general act of downloading extra stuff. For what its worth I like Raider's observation as well.
Raider30's picture
Submitted by Raider30 on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 15:56
Hm...the disclosures definitely make a difference in this case. I would now make him pay 3/4's, you paying 1/4 as your own punishment(and a lesson to yourself, heh). I would also make him return both pre-orders. Afterall, you don't get to wait to pay the bill until you can 'earn' the money back and neither should he. IMO that would also be the end of games on his ipod, free or not free.
TKBosss's picture
Submitted by TKBosss on Mon, 09/26/2011 - 18:27
@ pp2 I was wondering if he was testing the limits as well.

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