Connection between Laundry and Mental Illness.

Twisted

Shared on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 11:39

Right now Im up to my eyeballs in life.

New studio, (pics to come soon) people banging on my door wanting ink done, people wanting drawings done (Those of you here with pending orders, Im working on them) and helping with neverending lab duties AND two small kids.

Now, Im pretty much a fully domesticated male.  Lived on my own for a while so I can cook not too badly.  I like to joke that I tried to make pancakes once but I couldnt get the batter out of the toaster.  Ha ha.

Im fully capable of doing my own laundry.  Let me emphasize OWN laundry.

I have discovered that unless you are equipped with a vagina, folding womens clothing is essentially impossible.

Like what the hell kind of alien technology is at work here?!  Skorts? Tank tops with tit shelves?  Do you even fold a bra? 

Im 37, 38 in a few weeks, Ive had several long term relationships, more than a few short term, and I still can't work the goddamn clasp on a fricking bra.  The only time I ever manged to get one off without help or by chewing is when I snapped a friends strap back in high school and it just came undone.  That was it.  Beginners luck followed by decades of frustrated confusion.  I can't imagine the practice it takes for women to undo them behind their backs.

Then you get kids.  Their stuff is just as mind-boggling.  I have no idea what to do with a onesie.  Its like clothing invented by Rubik.

You gotta solve the damn thing to fold it.

Tried using a different razor with my Headblade the other day.  The Headblade includes an adaptor for Gillette Sensor.

Had an equipment malfunction resulting in my peeling my scalp like an orange.  I was picking shreds of meat out of the blades.

Ever see how much scalp wounds bleed?  Its like I butchered a cow in the shower.  I almost just left it to freak out the Mrs, but I know better.

She wouldnt find that as funny as I would.  Put police tape up and everything.  Not worth a week of sleeping on the couch.

I went online that very night and ordered a buttload of the Headblade razors.  No more experimenting thank-you-very-much.

Anyway, heres an ankle bracelet I did a while back.  She called me the other day to tell me she was out at a rodeo and several people thought it was a real ankle bracelet.

Its either a compliment or proof excessive alcohol and repeated blows to the head will affect your vision.

Comments

Devonsangel's picture
Submitted by Devonsangel on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 13:25
Nice ink on the ankle!
meemoos's picture
Submitted by meemoos on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 13:36
I just got a tramp stamp....and I thought of you while my ass crack was exposed ; ) Nice work on the ankle!!
Anonymous's picture
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Twisted's picture
Submitted by Twisted on Thu, 07/24/2008 - 11:23
Hot women thinking of me while exposing themselves?! I should be so lucky.
char's picture
Submitted by char on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 11:52
Next time take a vid of you folding the laundry. We need some good laughs around here. = )
Automan21k's picture
Submitted by Automan21k on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 12:26
I'm with you on the laundry...as for the head blade, my hair is falling out fast enough on it's own. ...great ink.
Twisted's picture
Submitted by Twisted on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 12:44
Yeah Auto, Ive been losing my hair since I was 16. Ive been shaving my head since I was 30. I decided to take control of my inevitable situation. Its just my way of giving Mother Nature a wedgie.
Automan21k's picture
Submitted by Automan21k on Wed, 07/23/2008 - 12:54
I made a list of pros and cons, pros....my wife doesn't have to worry about me with other women. Con. I'll look more like my father. so it came down to Rogain, or a new game each month....I choose the new game each month.

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