Big Trucker Cousin Joe!!

Tuesday, I was sitting at work, not really enjoying the fact that we're building rockets, but rather annoyed that individuals have to be threatened with bodily harm to keep them from fucking up machines that cost more than their life's worth.  If you think you're smarter than a $250,000.00 Coordinate Measuring Machine that weighs ~25,000lbs, but can't plug in a fucking monitor, you are truly stupid.  So as I sat in a funk contemplating the various methods of body disposal, my celly rings.  It's Big Trucker Cousin Joe! 

Me: "Earl's House of  Bait, Tackle, and Ill Repute, Earl speakin'."

BTCJ: "Are ya nekkid?"

Me: "Naw, but I got half a jar of peanut butter that says I will be when ya git here."

Me an' ol' Big Joe were raised as damn near siblings.  He was always the 300 pound gorilla that stood behind me when I ran my mockingbird mouth.  He's one of my best and closest friends, and he really is a 300 pound gorilla nowadays.  Took a pressure fitting to the face a few years ago that my police officer Dad said he'd never seen anyone live though that much damage, and Big Joe is still driving truck.  Tough Oklahoma boy, but he's got pretty new teeth.

Big Joe tells me he's right around the corner from the rocket shop and he wants to stop by.  I say that would be a grand idea, alert the family and call El Torito.  It's Taco Tuesday and I want to make sure they'll have enough beeves slaughtered to feed that big bastard cousin of mine.  $1 tacos is the only way to feed that monster without going flat broke.

The Babygirl and the boy make it about the same time Big Joe does and we head out for some grub, tour to commence later.  Joe squeezes into the back seat of the Girl's Intrepid and commences to visit with the boy.

Joe: "You got a girlfriend yet?"

Boy: "Nooooo...."

Joe: "Ya don't like boys, do ya?"

Boy: "NOOOO! The girls just think I'm wierd."

Joe: "What them girls don't know is, ALL boys are wierd.  They're just too dumb to figure it out until after the second dee-vorce.  They'll be chasin' yore sweet little boy butt all over the playground soon."

Boy: snickers "BabyGirl hasn't figured it out yet!"

Joe: "Yup, she has, but yore Daddy is just wierd enough to turn her crank.  You doin' good in school?"

Boy: "Not really."

Joe: "You oughta do good in school.  You know what happens when you don't do good school?"

Boy: "Nooo..."

Joe: "You end up a big fat trucker in the back of the car, talking to sweet little boys..." 

The boy had his homework done by the time I got home tonight!

Ain't nothin' to a G.