My boss is broken.

I work in the metrology field as a lab supervisor.  We go through an annual audit, with a monster every three years.  These audits are designed to ensure we are keeping up with industry standards and norms, along with ISO procedural documentation and processes.

We are going through a three day surveillance  audit, meaning that we are getting a light overview of the system from last year, which should just be a breeze.  Instead, we have two new auditors who are eager and willing to climb in and out of my technician's asses, over their desks and in one instance call into question the wallpaper for one of my guy's pc.  WTF?  We pay these guys a shitload of cash for a pretty piece of paper so we can stay in business.  And they are coming down like the Spanish Inquisition.  Been a sweaty two days, today being the last.  It was supposed to be a cakewalk, just a troll through documentation.  I was going to be free to fart around in the lab and get a bit of serious loafing in.

At 6:50am this morning, my phone rings.  It's my branch manager, my direct boss, telling me that he's thrown out his back and I'm the man with the plan.

I don't get paid for this shit.  I've been sitting in an office with two sick East Coasters and my national Quality Manager all day, nodding and answering a few questions as needed.  I want to go home so bad I could scream.

I'm gonna tax the boss for this.  He'll remember wistfully the drug-addled day he spent on the couch when I'm done beating the chickenshit out of him.