iName

With Apple recently settling it's lawsuit with Cicso over use of the iPhone name, I thought it was time Apple got down to business and just trademarked pretty much everything with an "i". Look for this next year:

Press Release: Macworld 2008

Apple announced a number of new trademarked product names this year. Here are the highlights:

iV - 3D holographic television (in white)

iStick - 10 terabyte thumb drive

iSuck - vacuum that is nothing at all like a Dyson

iToast - toaster that will eliminate the phrase "dumb as a toaster." Most of you will WISH you were as smart as an iToast

iDrive - car that runs on industrial wastes and emits Chai tea

iBurn - a completely clean and green coal substitute

iWrite - Apple has reinvented the pen (in white)

iPee - a vast improvement to today's Internet Protocols. What were you thinking it was? That's sick!

iCon - software that allows you to manage your very own "con" festival from a single iMac

iFell - personal alert system that interfaces with your iMac and your iPant (see below) to notify the authorities when you have injured yourself

iCrash - sorry, not a new product - that's just our internal name for Vista machines

iYawn - our official name for Vista machines

iPlay - our TRUE next-gen gaming console. All those other guys have been stealing our ideas for years. It ends now!

iTime - it's a really cool watch (in white)

iWatch - personal binoculars with night vision (in white - betcha thought THIS one was the time-telling watch. No, we're much more clever than that!)

iPant - robotic dog that interfaces seamlessly with your iPod, iPhone, iMac and everything else in this list. Oh and Windows Vista too, but only with the iSupposeSo dongle

iPants - TWO robotic dogs, no no, just my little joke. iPants are a gigantic leap forward in the high tech world of, um, pants.

iKnow - Steve Jobs collectible figurines

iAm - high-end Steve Jobs collectible figurines with patented Burning Bush data management

iWish - the first Mac to outsell the PC