Goin to the church!

zerocd

Shared on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:00

As some of you know, I recently became engaged (one month June 4th).  Last weekend we booked the hall, and this weekend, I get to goto the church and start that whole process of marriage registration.  What should be interesting is the fact that I have not been to church in almost a decade, and Jenna’s church is pretty old-school.

 

So basically, I need to think quick as to good reasons as to why I have strayed from the flock in the past decade.  As of now, my top picks are as follows:

 

            Que?  Que?  No Hablo de ingles

            Too busy fighting the Al Qaeda

            Started my own church of life ministry on the internet

            Dump holy water on my face and scream “It burns! It burns!”

 

Any and all advice from those who have dealt with a similar situation would be appreciated.

 

And for all those feeling generous, our bridal registry is held at both Sports Authority and Larry’s Wigs N Girdles on route 5

Comments

TDrag27's picture
Submitted by TDrag27 on Mon, 06/18/2007 - 09:20
What's your honest reason for not going? How about trying that?
DIE75's picture
Submitted by DIE75 on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:03
This one seems appropriate. ;) Dump holy water on my face and scream “It burns! It burns!”
NorthernPlato's picture
Submitted by NorthernPlato on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:05
the priest at my old church touched me inappropriately when i was younger, and now I have a fear of clergy and clowns. Try that. It should work. >=)
Speedbump's picture
Submitted by Speedbump on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:16
"I switched to The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"
Liger117's picture
Submitted by Liger117 on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:17
Use it as an excuse to GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAN!
zerocd's picture
Submitted by zerocd on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:18
-3 rating? you people are marriage-hating hedonist polygamists!!!
DaddyFatSack_25's picture
Submitted by DaddyFatSack_25 on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:24
break your leg this time
ekattan's picture
Submitted by ekattan on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:24
Dude you gotta come clean. Just tell your fiancé to give you the time and day of the wedding and tell her you will be there. You never want to get involved into wedding plans. Two worlds will collide, hers and yours, her parents and your parents. She will ask you for suggestions and opinions and you will suffer for them.
zerocd's picture
Submitted by zerocd on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 09:27
The only decision I get to make is choosing the band and choreographing the dance for the bridal party. Its gonna be like a Fatboy Slim video on Meth and veterinarian tranquelizers
XSSmoke's picture
Submitted by XSSmoke on Fri, 06/01/2007 - 10:40
"I don't need to go to church because I am already a God" Or something like that.

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