This week is trying to kill me.

It started with a sore throat. The kind that makes you suspect someone has poured acid down your throat while you slept. i saw the doctor Tuesday, and he said it's not strep or any other infection. Which is good.

But then he said i'm 'rapidly deteriorating', and he wants me back in for the chemo ASAP. It should have been scheduled for a few weeks from now, but he wants me in sooner. i knew i was in pain, exhausted all the time, and i've had zero appetite...but somehow i thought maybe it wasn't all that bad. He gave me a quick exam and apparently i'm so bad it's visible. NICE.

THEN he tells me my blood work last week was fine, except for the dangerously low potassium. He looked back in my chart and about a decade ago, i was passing out regularly because of low potassium. With all of the other reasons that cause me to pass out, i can feel it coming on in time to tell whoever is with me 'hey i'm about to pass out' or in enough time, if alone, to sit down somewhere. But with the low potassium, it's suddenly lights out, no warning. GREAT. Because the supplemental stuff makes me violently ill, i have to eat three bananas and drink two glasses of orange juice a day. He 'recommends' i not be alone when i'm out and about, and he'd prefer it if i don't drive. AWESOME.

And the week's not over...today i go to the gyn, because i had an irregular mammogram, followed by an irregular ultrasound. There's an 'abnormally shaped' cyst in my right breast. FABULOUS. She's sending me to a breast surgeon to have it 'investigated' to be sure what we're dealing with here. She says 'i don't think it's cancer', which is only slightly confidence inspiring. Breasts are a touchy subject (haha) with some of us women. i like mine. i'd like them to stay put, healthy and happy, just where they are.

Now i can't schedule the chemo i'm supposed to have ASAP until after i see the breast surgeon. i am way too sick, tired and achy for two weeks after the chemo to do any other sort of medical procedure. Everything is on hold while i wait for the surgeon's office to call me. YAY.

i really, really want this week to be OVER!!! i'm angry, i'm scared, i'm sick, i'm tired, i'm dropping weight like crazy...THIS WEEK SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other than my mom, i haven't told any of my family any of this. They freak out, call me too much, ask STUPID questions ("but i thought you were cured?" etc), treat me like i'm made of glass, and overall just annoy me. Love them all, but yeah. They make me crazier. i'm telling my 2o2p family, and my 2o2pH clannie family. Because you guys make me laugh (feel free to make boob jokes!), cheer me up, and make me feel loved.

Thanks, as always, for being there for this sick girl. i love you guys! <3