The Assassin’s Creed series has taken players to some amazing places during their most interesting times in history. We skulked across Renaissance Era Italy as Ezio Auditore, tracked targets in and around Colonial Boston as Connor Kenway, pirated our way across the Caribbean as Connor’s grandfather, Edward, and stomped through muddy shit holes as Altair..okay, so they weren’t all exotic locations. Arno Victor Dorian is Ubisoft’s newest cowled skulker and Revolutionary Paris is the setting. Vive le France!
Arno’s Assassin father is slain in the first few minutes of the game, leaving him to be raised by the Grand Master of the Templars and ignorant of his Assassin heritage. However, his caretaker, Mssr. de la Serre, is also slain during the first few minutes of the game, leaving our young protagonist with a mystery that needs to be solved. In the AC universe this generally means killing folks that have the answers and raping their memories as they die out on the cold floor.
Elise, de la Serre’s daughter, was naturally being groomed for Templar service, and her current occupation often puts her at odds with Arno’s Assassin career choice, but there is a great deal of love and admiration between the two. Arno is out to find de la Serre’s murderer, protect Elise, and become the Assassin that his father would have been proud of.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixp1RDIf4O8[width=650,height=366]
The Setting
Paris is home to some of the most recognizable edifices and landmarks in the world. La Bastille, Notre Dame Cathedral and La Louvre are all present in the game, even the Eiffel Tower makes a brief appearance. However, Revolutionary Paris was no place for tourists, and for every amazing example of Parisian architecture there are half a million angry Parisians screaming to tear it down.
Arno has been appointed stewardship of a cafe theater in the Snootyville district, which he utilizes as his base of operations. Like other AC games, this property can be upgraded through improvements and special missions. The stewardship extends to several satellite cafes, with their own special missions
Weapons and Combat
Not a lot has changed since the last game. Swords and hidden blades are still the staple tools of the trade. Arno can shoot deadly Assassin blades or Berserk blades, which enrage targets into attacking anything that moves. Pistols and rifles are better ranged weapons than blades, but fall very short compared to modern day shooters. Assassin’s Creed is at its best when dispatching enemies from stealth or sword fighting in the streets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi7GDxWTfBs&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
One vast improvement from earlier entries is the downward parkour. Jumping down from higher ground is no longer the bone-breaking gamble that it once was. The Eagle Vision and leap of faith, utilized since the first game, are still very much a part of the game. Eagle Vision is used to mark and detect enemies and solve the Nostradamus riddles for a crack at some badass gear.
Here’s Where Shit Goes Downhill
Following up AC IV was never going to be easy, and AC Unity falls short of its buccaneer predecessor in many different ways. Ubisoft killed off Desmond Miles in AC3, and that should have been the last we saw of the immersion-destroying animus, but it’s back with a new name: The Helix...yeah, that’s real fucking original.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJCntHM1kdw&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
Some Assassin hacker named Bishop has to jump in and pull the player out of the game to help out with some modern bullshit agenda...by going back in and playing as Arno. What is the point of this? The Paris storyline and setting is more than ample to support an entire game without convoluting the plot with some bullshit hacker drama. Let me play the game!
The load times in AC Unity are obscene. The time it takes to load up Paris is equivalent to the load time in Skyrim, which was a much bigger game on an older console.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaA5dGRfEXo&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
Ubisoft has taken a predatory cue from EA and made microtransactions the special du jour. Ubi is constantly breaking into the game to ask you to buy in game currency, join UPlay, download an app, visit the EStore, or join Initiates.Why didn’t they just stick a guy wearing a billboard that says “Play Watchdogs” or “Eat at Joe’s” on a street corner in the game? There’s a big difference between making players aware of extras and shoving down their throats like captive consumers. This literally churns my stomach and merits a special “Fuck You, Ubisoft” for this single practice alone.
AC Unity, following the rush to gold tactics of the unfinished and sadly disappointing Watchdogs, is chock full of bugs. Framerate stutters, synchronization issues, parkour issues, opponents that cannot be killed,moonwalkers, shitty hit detection, pedestrians wandering in and out of sword fights, and general massive QC oversight. I ran across two separate mission-impeding bugs in the same day. Incroyable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3GRHPnHkUI&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Unxc9MNqw3Y&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCJrum5UAuQ&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAPIlYhR1iA&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igqnrme5Y8Q&list=UUeUIaIHNJKlpTBo0iXuaLA...
Sarcasmo Says
AC Unity is my least favorite game in the series, in fact I hated it. When I pay sixty bucks for a game it should be free of commercials, microtransactions, bugs, and it needs to be out of the beta testing stage. I liked Arno, the setting is one of the most interesting cities in the world at its most notable period in time, and I am a fan of the series from the very first game...so much greater my disappointment. Not even the four player co-op can salvage this wreck. Cest la vie.
The Verdict
Don’t waste your money on a $60 commercial that doesn’t work.
