Having fully missed the bus on getting out rapid information about the new maps, Freyn Ap Thyr is happy to bring you the kind of in depth, thumb-fingered, rambling diatribes I am famous for.
Frequently, readers ask me, "Bubba, why didn't you mention any facts in that article you wrote about...(choose subject...)" It has been my firm belief that facts rarely help a story, paragraphs about boobs always do, and if I submit stories in high traffic times they will quickly leave the front page and people will stop bothering me about "facts" and "accuracy." With that disclaimer, let me move on to my favorite of the new maps, Turf.
I expect people to start challenging me right about now. Sanctuary kicks ass as well and I won't deny that it is a tough call for which i would rather play on. Let me tell you one quick story about my first game on Turf though.
The day the new maps came out, it took about 8 seconds for a room full of old timers to shoot me an invite. I forgave them and beheld the wonder that was new maps.
I spawned in the med tent area of the street and began moving towards the hog. The three way slayer game was really about exploring the map, so when Gray Pope spawned in front of me I crouch walked to avoid making it look like I wanted to sneak up and use my exciting new boxer configuration to bap him in the back of his unsuspecting skull. (Please note that all logic flaws are not the fault of the author, but more like lies.) By the time I reached the corner of the L-shaped intersection that marks the southwest corner of Turf, Pope was already moving through what I first mistook for a wall and what was really swinging doors.
Three words before I move on. Dynamic. Elements. Rock.
I boarded the Hog because that is nearly always my strategy. Even when I golf I insist on driving the cart or I cry like a girl until I get my way. Since I was "exploring" rather than fighting, I drove the hog full tilt into the swinging doors to "see what would happen." What happened was Pope got launched by the impact of the door and hit the far wall of the garage like a sack of spuds thrown from a semi on the interstate. My lawyer has informed me that I am not allowed to tell you why I know what a sack of spuds thrown from a semi on the interstate looks like, but believe me- I KNOW.
I also know that when something like that happens right out of the gate, that map is always going to have a special place in my heart.
Besides the doors there are catwalks that can span the street in Turf (remember- dynamic.elements.rock), tricky ways to get way above the catwalks and building frontage of the main street, windows that you can vandalize to reveal hidden stairways, twisting back alley's that complete the square the main street frames and tons of boxes, crates, shipping containers and rusted tin shacks to hop around on.
Also, just so you know, the medical tent and its immediate environs are raging, festering grenade back stops. So if you are playing against me, feel free to hide there.
I have played most of the major variants and a few of the minor ones here as well and one of the things Turf gets top marks for is versatility. From WWW to 7 lives, Turf provides a nice pace of play for all but the smallest or largest groups. I have had some sixteen player games bog down big time back by the freakish wreck of the scarab and hunting for a lone opponent can get tiresome if you are both moving clockwise. Multi-flag is also a little difficult because of the inherent defensibility of one of the flag spawn points as opposed to the other.
Turf is also kind to a variety of playing styles with enough open spaces to satisfy the daintiest of sniper whores and the back-alley killing grounds where real men like to play. The boxes, crates and pipes of the back alleys will also keep your head on a swivel as ambushes can come from nearly all angles. This nicely tempers the skill of the best dual-wielders so that the rest of us slobs can get a shot or two off before falling to a hail of fire from the Brute Plasma rifle and SMG combo that makes its debut here on Turf.
Lot's of talk has been made of the "urban" feel of Turf and people leave all the "-er" endings off of words like "gangsta" and "playa" when they talk about it. All I know is, when you find the city I can drive my jeep through some swinging doors and knock my friends on their asses, let me know, I'm moving there.
In summation, Boobs and Turf Rock. Seagulls and facts don't.
- Bubba
I expect people to start challenging me right about now. Sanctuary kicks ass as well and I won't deny that it is a tough call for which i would rather play on. Let me tell you one quick story about my first game on Turf though.
The day the new maps came out, it took about 8 seconds for a room full of old timers to shoot me an invite. I forgave them and beheld the wonder that was new maps.
I spawned in the med tent area of the street and began moving towards the hog. The three way slayer game was really about exploring the map, so when Gray Pope spawned in front of me I crouch walked to avoid making it look like I wanted to sneak up and use my exciting new boxer configuration to bap him in the back of his unsuspecting skull. (Please note that all logic flaws are not the fault of the author, but more like lies.) By the time I reached the corner of the L-shaped intersection that marks the southwest corner of Turf, Pope was already moving through what I first mistook for a wall and what was really swinging doors.
Three words before I move on. Dynamic. Elements. Rock.
I boarded the Hog because that is nearly always my strategy. Even when I golf I insist on driving the cart or I cry like a girl until I get my way. Since I was "exploring" rather than fighting, I drove the hog full tilt into the swinging doors to "see what would happen." What happened was Pope got launched by the impact of the door and hit the far wall of the garage like a sack of spuds thrown from a semi on the interstate. My lawyer has informed me that I am not allowed to tell you why I know what a sack of spuds thrown from a semi on the interstate looks like, but believe me- I KNOW.
I also know that when something like that happens right out of the gate, that map is always going to have a special place in my heart.
Besides the doors there are catwalks that can span the street in Turf (remember- dynamic.elements.rock), tricky ways to get way above the catwalks and building frontage of the main street, windows that you can vandalize to reveal hidden stairways, twisting back alley's that complete the square the main street frames and tons of boxes, crates, shipping containers and rusted tin shacks to hop around on.
I have played most of the major variants and a few of the minor ones here as well and one of the things Turf gets top marks for is versatility. From WWW to 7 lives, Turf provides a nice pace of play for all but the smallest or largest groups. I have had some sixteen player games bog down big time back by the freakish wreck of the scarab and hunting for a lone opponent can get tiresome if you are both moving clockwise. Multi-flag is also a little difficult because of the inherent defensibility of one of the flag spawn points as opposed to the other.
Turf is also kind to a variety of playing styles with enough open spaces to satisfy the daintiest of sniper whores and the back-alley killing grounds where real men like to play. The boxes, crates and pipes of the back alleys will also keep your head on a swivel as ambushes can come from nearly all angles. This nicely tempers the skill of the best dual-wielders so that the rest of us slobs can get a shot or two off before falling to a hail of fire from the Brute Plasma rifle and SMG combo that makes its debut here on Turf.
Lot's of talk has been made of the "urban" feel of Turf and people leave all the "-er" endings off of words like "gangsta" and "playa" when they talk about it. All I know is, when you find the city I can drive my jeep through some swinging doors and knock my friends on their asses, let me know, I'm moving there.
In summation, Boobs and Turf Rock. Seagulls and facts don't.
- Bubba
