We came, we saw, we... lost. But, we had fun and drank beer. What more can you ask in life?
Eks and Smoker roll in driving a Chrysler M300. Talk about a pimp mobile!
I've been playing Halo2 this whole time to get the bad taste out of my mouth, and the pain out of my rear from the severe beating Str8 Ripp0n put on us the night before. The emotional scarring just won't go away.
10am
We finally get up and head for Speedbmp's house where Drost and Malice have forgotten to put the toilet seat down and the cat is feeling frisky.
We set up our TVs for split screen and hop on XBL to try and adjust to them. This is Mistake #1. Never try to adjust to split screen less then 6 hours away from the tournament.
Mistake #2 is don't try to adjust to split screen on TVs bigger then what you will be playing on in the tournament.
4pm
Registration and warm-ups for the Amatuer FFA begins. Are we there? Nope. I wanted to get there around 4. Stupid me doesn't say anything. This is Mistake #3. Utilize all the warm-up time you can. You need it to adjust to the noise, smell, and organised chaos that is happening around you.
5:15pm
We arrive. Whoa! Talk about a line!
Timmies to the right of me!
Timmies to the left of me!
Timmies to the front of me!
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly we walked and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Walked Profanity.
6pm
We get into the venue. The cacophony of noise was thunderous! A slight breeze of BO filled the air. We were in enemy territory. Drive-by "crop dustings" were happening on a frequent basis and many of us became victims of timmy's chemical warfare.
Caligula and Tait find us and we stand around behind the game stations and watch in apt rapture.
6:30pm
We finally get on some stations and get to warm up. Wait a second! What the hell is Facehumper doing warming up?!?!? Why is he T-Bagging me in the game? Damn you humper! I feel confident. I place 2nd or 3rd for 3 straight games.
7pm
Let the festivities begin! The gamers are welcomed to Dallas and the Team Captains are told to go get their team's station assignments for the FFA.
7:30pm
Here we go. Let the games begin! Drost and Malice get to go in the first heat.
Malice steals a kill at the last 2nd to advance to round 2. Alas, poor Yorick! Drost gets knocked out.
Now, Eks and I get to show our stuff. And show it we don't! I get stuck on a station where there was only 6 total players for the match. At one point, I had my own TV, but then some timmy decides he likes the view from my side instead of the other side. Sigh. There went a major advantage for me. And since there were only 6, that means 2 less targets or kills for me to steal. Just wasn't meant to be. Both Eks and I fail to advance, leaving Malice the only member of Profanity to get to the 2nd round.
8pm
Malice gets his 2nd round assignment. Oh joy! He gets to play against our mentor! Foulacy! How fun is that?!?! /sarcasm.
Foulacy is brutal. Foulacy is quick, efficient. Malice can't keep pace. Hell, no one could keep pace. Foulacy ends the match with Malice 4 kills out of 4th place. 2 more minutes, and he could have closed that gap.
Foulacy is a pretty cool cat. He recognizes Malice's name from our lessons and comes over and talks to us for a bit.
Tait and Caligual somehow get slotted into the 2nd round.
Caligula sits down and guess who sits down right next to him? Tsquared. Another cool cat, he helps Caligula adjust his settings before the game starts.
Unfortunately, the outcome was the same for tait and caligula as it was for Malice. And so ended 2old2play's participation in the Amateur FFA.
But our story doesn't end there. Being the sore losers we are, we curse and spit at all the timmies around us and make our escape to the nearest Bar and Pub.
Face proceeds to drown out our sorrows for us in 4-5 beers as the rest of us found comfort in our food. Did I mention Face is one funny guy? Dear god, if you thought he was funny online, you haven't been with him live when he's been drinking.
Anyways, the night wound down and we stared at a few bouncy things walking on by, we called it a night. Well, most of us did.
Profanity retired back to the batcave and decided to hop back on XBL. We hopped into Hardcore, and proceeded to hear the sweet nectar of life from the timmies we were playinig against: "I can't do anything! I can't even move!" Ahhh... That brought a tear to my eye. Oh wait, that was Drost doing a drive-by on me...
"Next Up: Day 2 - Eksessiv goes 2-0 vs. Texas Law!"
Friday
2:00amEks and Smoker roll in driving a Chrysler M300. Talk about a pimp mobile!
I've been playing Halo2 this whole time to get the bad taste out of my mouth, and the pain out of my rear from the severe beating Str8 Ripp0n put on us the night before. The emotional scarring just won't go away.
10am
We finally get up and head for Speedbmp's house where Drost and Malice have forgotten to put the toilet seat down and the cat is feeling frisky.
We set up our TVs for split screen and hop on XBL to try and adjust to them. This is Mistake #1. Never try to adjust to split screen less then 6 hours away from the tournament.
Mistake #2 is don't try to adjust to split screen on TVs bigger then what you will be playing on in the tournament.
4pm
Registration and warm-ups for the Amatuer FFA begins. Are we there? Nope. I wanted to get there around 4. Stupid me doesn't say anything. This is Mistake #3. Utilize all the warm-up time you can. You need it to adjust to the noise, smell, and organised chaos that is happening around you.
5:15pm
We arrive. Whoa! Talk about a line!
Timmies to the right of me!
Timmies to the left of me!
Timmies to the front of me!
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly we walked and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Walked Profanity.
6pm
We get into the venue. The cacophony of noise was thunderous! A slight breeze of BO filled the air. We were in enemy territory. Drive-by "crop dustings" were happening on a frequent basis and many of us became victims of timmy's chemical warfare.
Caligula and Tait find us and we stand around behind the game stations and watch in apt rapture.
6:30pm
We finally get on some stations and get to warm up. Wait a second! What the hell is Facehumper doing warming up?!?!? Why is he T-Bagging me in the game? Damn you humper! I feel confident. I place 2nd or 3rd for 3 straight games.
7pm
Let the festivities begin! The gamers are welcomed to Dallas and the Team Captains are told to go get their team's station assignments for the FFA.
7:30pm
Here we go. Let the games begin! Drost and Malice get to go in the first heat.
Malice steals a kill at the last 2nd to advance to round 2. Alas, poor Yorick! Drost gets knocked out.
Now, Eks and I get to show our stuff. And show it we don't! I get stuck on a station where there was only 6 total players for the match. At one point, I had my own TV, but then some timmy decides he likes the view from my side instead of the other side. Sigh. There went a major advantage for me. And since there were only 6, that means 2 less targets or kills for me to steal. Just wasn't meant to be. Both Eks and I fail to advance, leaving Malice the only member of Profanity to get to the 2nd round.
8pm
Malice gets his 2nd round assignment. Oh joy! He gets to play against our mentor! Foulacy! How fun is that?!?! /sarcasm.
Foulacy is brutal. Foulacy is quick, efficient. Malice can't keep pace. Hell, no one could keep pace. Foulacy ends the match with Malice 4 kills out of 4th place. 2 more minutes, and he could have closed that gap.
Foulacy is a pretty cool cat. He recognizes Malice's name from our lessons and comes over and talks to us for a bit.
Tait and Caligual somehow get slotted into the 2nd round.
Caligula sits down and guess who sits down right next to him? Tsquared. Another cool cat, he helps Caligula adjust his settings before the game starts.
Unfortunately, the outcome was the same for tait and caligula as it was for Malice. And so ended 2old2play's participation in the Amateur FFA.
But our story doesn't end there. Being the sore losers we are, we curse and spit at all the timmies around us and make our escape to the nearest Bar and Pub.
Face proceeds to drown out our sorrows for us in 4-5 beers as the rest of us found comfort in our food. Did I mention Face is one funny guy? Dear god, if you thought he was funny online, you haven't been with him live when he's been drinking.
Anyways, the night wound down and we stared at a few bouncy things walking on by, we called it a night. Well, most of us did.
Profanity retired back to the batcave and decided to hop back on XBL. We hopped into Hardcore, and proceeded to hear the sweet nectar of life from the timmies we were playinig against: "I can't do anything! I can't even move!" Ahhh... That brought a tear to my eye. Oh wait, that was Drost doing a drive-by on me...
"Next Up: Day 2 - Eksessiv goes 2-0 vs. Texas Law!"
